YANA's POV
I ended up going home. Sa mansion. Good thing mom was out while dad was in the company when I arrived kaya walang nagtanong sa akin kung bakit ganun ang itsura ko.
I looked like a mess that day. Basang basa ako sa ulan. I was no longer crying but my eyes were swollen because of too much crying. I've been absent for two executive days and my parents are aware of that. ang sabi ko lang ay hindi talaga maganda ng pakiramdam ko dahil naulanan ako nung sunday. Ilang beses na rin akong pinuntahan ng mga pinsan ko dito sa bahay pero hindi ko sila pinakaharapan. I don't know how to face them. I'm still mad about Andrei and I know they understand me... kaya lang, ewan... I'm just... not ready yet. I'm such a shvt.
I checked my phone when I heard it beeped. Si Warren na naman iyon. He's been checking up on me lately, asking why I'm out. I haven't replied to any of his texts pero hindi pa rin siya nagsasawang itext ako.
From: Warren
Hey. How are you? You've been out for 2 days now. Kailan ka balik?
Ibinalik ko sa table ang phone ko. I want to go to school but I don't want to yet... Gusto ko na munang magpahinga. I bet if I go to school, my cousins will swarm over me and I don't wanna stress myself yet. Hindi pa rin ako ready na makita si Timothy... Did he even wondered why??? Why I was out?? O.. O wala talaga siyang pakealam?
I chuckled bitterly. Ayan ka na naman, Yana. Sinasaktan mo na naman ang sarili mo.
Ilang sandali pa akong nagmuni-muni hanggang sa hindi ko namalayang nakatulog na pala ako. Nagising nalang ako dahil sa may mga kamay na humahaplos sa buhok ko. I was not able to move because my hair was being caressed softly and the soft hum from my mother is making me calm...
Mom...
"I know you're awake, Yana. How are you feeling?" Dahan-dahan kong iminulat ang mga mata ko. My mother's eyes welcomed my sight before hugging her. I miss this.. I miss my sweet mom. Hindi naman talaga buong strikta si mommy. I remember growing up with a very caring and sweet mother... her. Mommy would caress my hair every night, she would sing me to sleep. She woud cook me meals and tickle me when I don't eat.. She's always sweet... nagbago lang siya netong mga nakaraang taon. She's been... cold and strict... lagi lang siyang.. trabaho.. negosyo.. everything... everything about work and money.
"Now, can you tell me why you didn't want to go back to your cousins and... school?" Isiniksik ko ang sarili ko kay Mommy. I can see my old mom... the one who never left me alone when I'm mad or scared or happy. Yung mommy ko na laging nasa likod ko.
"It's nothing, mom." Sabi ko lang. I can't tell her about Timothy. My mom would freak out if she finds out about Tim. Masyadong mataas ang standard ni mommy.
"It's not nothing if you're like this, Yana. Come on, tell mommy." I didn't talk. I just remained hugging her. I envy my mother. Even when her marriage with my father was arranged, she love my father dearly. I remember my mom telling me that she fell in love at first sight with my dad. They met in high school. Yes, my parents are high school sweethearts. Nagkakilala sila dahil sa isang family gathering. Mom told me that when she saw dad, it felt like everything around him was in blurr. I used to laugh at her because of what she said... it's a hoax, sabi ko ba.. well, not until recently...
Not until I had first hand experience on it.
Napa-iling nalang ako. Stop thinking about it, Yan. Just... stop.
"Mom, why... why kuya?" I suddenly thought of kuya Yuan... and that girl.. I wonder where he is now. Magkasama kaya sila? Masaya kaya siya? I hope he is..
"Yan--"
"Mom, please... hayaan mo nalang si kuya. Please, mom." I know how hard it is for my brother. I know how much he loves mom and dad. Nagawa niyang i-give up ang dancing for mom because she wanted him to stop. He loves dancing so much. Pero ito... naiintindihan ko talaga kung bakit ayaw niya. It's just... to much. Marriage should be about love. About affection. Hindi dapat pinipilit.
