Slowly giving up {discontinued}

Part 1- BackStory

At the mere age of 12 I had lost a lot in a short amount of time.

As my young self walked the hallways of a new school I had bumped into someone.
I stood up and picked my stuff up.
"Sorry"
I looked up and saw a girl who looked around my age, I smiled making her smile back.
"Wanna be friends?"
Her quite voice echoed in my ears.
I nodded and smiled.
"Do you like to play sports?"
I asked with hope in my eyes, hoping to have found a friend with interests the same as mine.
"Yup"
A big smiled formed on my face and she had become my best friend not a few months after.

As we grew older we grew apart, everyone says high school ruins relationships, wrong, annoyance ruins relationships. We had hung out every day and both grew bored of eachother, but I had always wanted her as a friend.

One dreadful morning of grade 8 I woke up, I had 1 missed call from my mom, I called her back and she answered.
"You called"
My sleepy voice echoed through the phone.
"Sweetie I have bad news"
"What is it?"
I eagerly asked.
"Lily died in a car crash"
I froze, I didn't know what to do or how to respond.
"I- you sure it was her?"
"I'm sorry sweetie"
Tears uncontrollably flew down my face as I cried into my hands.
I threw my phone across the room shattering it into pieces.

After a month of without my Ex best friend I had gone home from school, expecting my moms homemade pizza.
I opened the door to my house and dropped my bag on the floor.
"Where's mom"
I asked my dad who was sitting on the couch,.
"Sweetie come here"
I slowly walked over to him still confused.
"What happened?"
I asked waiting for an answer.
"Y-your mom died, she had a heart attack."
Tears formed in my eyes as those words were spoken.
"N-no it cant be"
"I'm sorry sweetie"
I ran up to my room and locked it shut, blocking myself from socializing with anyone until further notice.

Months past and my young self felt as lonely as could be, i had nowhere to go, didn't feel as if I belonged somewhere.
Making myself fall into depression at the young age of 12.
As I suffered with depression, anxiety caught up to me soon enough.
I was fighting two battles, battles I could never win, not alone.