Dani's life

My crush...

It is such a bad feeling. I really like him and I know he likes me too. He's such a nice guy and hot as well. His blue eyes remind me of the clear sky on a summer morning. He's funny, hilarious, he made me laugh so many times. He made mistakes, like any other human. He has some bad qualities, he lies, he's shy, he does bad stuff, he smokes, he drinks, but for me he is still perfect.

We have so many things in common. We both are weirdos, and sometimes I feel like he's the only one who understands me and I really appreciate that. He sees the best in me and sometimes I'm like why the hell does he that?

I wasn't expecting that I would like him this much. But after that party my feelings got stronger and bigger everyday. Whenever I see him, my heart beats faster, I get butterflies in my tummy and I feel so happy. And now, that I'm writing about him I'm smiling like a dumb bitch, but I can't help it, I really like him. It was one of our friend's party. I got a little drunk after taking tons and tons of shots. I can remember every single thing I did that night. I know that we were cuddling, I know that he took care of me and I took care of him as well when he got k.o., and the most important thing that I know is that on that night we got closer.

We took loads of pics, but I deleted them all. I just wanted to forget him. It's like I know that it'll be nothing between us and we will remain just friends. This is so hard for me. And I feel like I can't tell him how much I like him and if he wants us to remain just friends then I don't want to be his friend anymore. What? NO! I want to be his friend, but it is so difficult to not look at him that way.

All of our friends want us to be together. But, is that going to happen? Everybody is talking to me, to him about how cute we would look next to each other, holding hands, kissing in front of everybody, Yes, we would look cute together.

In the past few days we didn't talk like we talked before. It hurts. I think that he is pushing me away from him and I don't know why. When we are together, alone, he is not even talking to me and sometimes I feel stupid. We talk on Facebook for hours, but when we are next to each other we are just staring like some dumb bitches and talk about crap.

Maybe he's scared. I'm scared as well.

And because we are making such a big mistake right now, these feelings will disappear and even the thought of it makes me sad. And I know that both of us will regret this.

Fuck it.

I just don't get it. If he likes me, why doesn't he tell me? He shouldn't be scared, I won't hurt him. This stupidity of ours is starting to give me headaches.

                                                                                                                                                         Daniella.