DEENA (Complete)

ONE: My My

February 14, 2011.
Somewhere in Naija.

I tossed around in my bed while I wondered how else to deal with my insomnia after so much use of heavy sedatives. Millets pap and guinea corn paps were sedatives, right?
I was really frustrated.

"Ya Rabb, I really can't survive being insomniac."

I got up from the bed to switch on the light only to step on something mushy. I scrunched up my nose as the smell hit my nostrils.
That kitten!

I stretched my hand towards the switch and put on the light.

My little pet was curled up on the old couch I had gotten from the sitting room while it was been refurnished the previous year. It slept peacefully and cutely. I smiled and went ahead to clean up the mess.

The kitten was given to me the previous month by my paternal grandmother. She had so many pet cats and she loved them. I had to beg for a thousandth time before she agreed to give me one. I was very happy that I swept the whole corridor of her apartment. I called it 'Piina' from that day. Not that I knew what it meant, I only knew it was a Philippine name and I loved it. I took my phone and frowned at the screen. It was already 2:57am and I was yet to get any sleep.

I got out of the room frustrated and angry at only God knew what. I went straight to the toilet to perform ablution and when I got back, Piina meowed, she was hungry. I went to the kitchen fridge to fetch some milk only to meet an almost empty bottle. My jaw dropped.

"What the potatoes! Who the heck touched my stuff?"

I fumed in anger as the realization hit me - someone had used 'much' of my milk. The milk I had to save up for, the milk I had sacrificed my petty allowance for because Maami would never allow me to touch 'the milk that was meant for everyone'. A lone tear dropped from my right eye while I waited for the last few drops into the bowl. I went on to my room to perform some nawàfiil (voluntary prayers).

Immediately I said the takbeer, my anger was replaced by serenity - my heart lighter than ever. And when I fell in sujood, everything flashed back as I complained to the Almighty about my condition.

"Ya Rabb, You're the Almighty and you know my condition and You're aware of what I want. Please grant me more sabr (patience) to go on in life. Grant me the strength to face my fears. Ya Rabb, You're Al-Waduud (The Loving) - So please, increase Your love for me everyday and mine for You..then my parents' love for me and mine for them."
I sighed at the mention of 'parents'.
Actually, I meant my Mom 'cause I was Abba's favourite.

I rounded up after I had asked Him for a better life. I felt satisfied and so at peace.

It had always been like that. Whenever I talked to Dayyaan, my best Friend and my Creator, serenity always crept to my shattered heart.

4:32am
I woke up to the first athãn of the morning prayer (subhi). I had slept on my prayer mat.
Then it flashed back to my mind. I fell asleep right after I had decided to recite the Holy book (Qur'an) the whole night, since I was not sleepy. But, that worked as a trick on the devil..he made me sleep so I wouldn't get rewarded all night long.
SMH

I got on my feet while I answered Hanif's salaam.

"Ya Deen." He peeped in through the door.