was it a dream or just a nightmare

One day I woke up wishing this was a dream but it wasn't it was a nightmare I live it everyday .

I live everyday with regrets and it haunts me because I really fuck up in I take full blame for all the stress I cause you .

I just wish I had another chance to do it again but I guess that's never going to happen so I'm just move on and from this day far not look back in focus on me.

I'm trying to move on but that shit is hard asf when you lose everybody that always had your back in that really care about you and they didn't want you to end like this.

Everyday I try to figure out where I stand and I still haven't found it yet after searching 3 years now and I guess it not worth it nomore.

Everything I do its like you can careless I guess ain't going change your mind I wish I could make my dream come true by finding a cure to multiple sclerosis but I know it ain't not cure into the new system.

I would give anything to hear you welcome me back home but I guess that will never happen so I guess it over for that. I hope you have an change of hearts someday.

I hate when everybody say they know what you go thru and they don't know shit they only know what you tell them.

I always wonder what it'll be like to be happy again but i guess that never going happened again I wish somebody could take me away from pain in rescue me .