"I don't get it, you don't want me gone, but you don't want me either"
Song of the chapter: Selena Gomez - Rare (her new album slaps okay? Okay. 😂)
*****
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"You look stunning." Tony gushed, smirking while she herself was fixing her earring, looking on the wall to floor length mirror, in her room. She was wearing a red dress, beautiful as ever, I was sporting a black one, a quite daring one but this was the met gala.
I still couldn't believe we were about to do this.
We would be Matt's plus 2, even if it's technically plus 1, but he had connections and we weren't complaining.
I'm touching up the last bits of my make up, contemplating if this was the right thing, then I check up on my phone, nothing unusual with the conversations him and I were having. He still hadn't come clean to me.. come to think of it. Was this between us just a fling? A passtime thing? I know he said we're meant to be, but I wasn't gullible enough to believe him. Every man tell you lies, or at least tries to sweeten up the reality. It's wrong, he knew what buttons to push and what to say.. and I trust him, somehow, even if it's stupid of me. Although I would still be cautious with him. It's the reason I can't just hook up with him or sleep with him that easy. I knew that if it turns out to be just a means to get with me, it would destroy me in the end... if this was all a ploy to fvck me, it would be too much.
Maybe it was too soon to even think about sleeping with him in the first place, but even if we were more arguing than being open about what we felt, the connection was there on the times we did maintain normal conversation.
"What's the long face?" Tony mumbles, I hum absently, noticing I was gripping my phone and staring off to nothing in deep thought. "You're making me feel guilty for urging you to go, sleepy-head." She continues then, abandoning her task of putting her shoes on. "Look, if you don't want to go, we don't have to. I just think it's fair for you to see what goes in front of camera flashes." she explains, "That way you'll either understand him, or you won't."
It's exactly that why I can't just be carefree of the matter like she is. She's got nothing to lose, Matt is worshipping the floor she walks on. Even if they don't have it less difficult than I had, at least she was the one to chose the path and tell Matt at what pace they'd move.
However, Zayn and I, it felt like, I was waiting on how he'd just do this, since it's his world and I'm merely allowed to join him, on his terms. This issue was lying deep inside our relationship. We'd have to figure it out. From my part, it bothered me way too much.
"Wins?" She then again demands for my attention, I nod, "If only he'd told me.. that's why it's making me feel uneasy." I admit, sighing out, "I don't want to show up there and he'll get annoyed or fed up with me."
"So what? He can suck it if he thinks he can hide you entirely... to hell with him if he gives you shit for it." She effortlessly says, taking a hold of my hand, "You should be able to enjoy some of these things, it's his life and you just want to be part of it. I'll be there too, and if it gets too much we'll leave, okay?" I nodded at that, just then the doorbell rings.
