If heart ache was a physical pain, I could face it.

Part Nineteen

Charly’s POV

“Max are you sure about this?” I ask once Tom has finally gone home, and everyone else is in bed. “I’m sorry for Anne and Tom and obviously I’m worried about her, she was my best friend, but after everything that happened, I just want you to be okay.” I hear him sigh, and it’s then that I know whatever he says to me, he’s worried about this whole arrangement.

“Honestly.” He says, turning to face me. “I don’t know how I’m going to cope, but I have you now.” He says talking my hand. “And I know you’ll help me through it. We just can’t make them go though this alone, even after everything that they did. No one deserves to go though what they’re going through, especially not alone.”

“That is the least selfish thing I have ever heard anyone say.” I reply, feeling tears begin to form in my eyes. “And of course I’ll be here for you, always. But are you sure about this.” Max nods at me once, but I can tell from his eyes, he’s unsure; even if he’s not going to change his mind.

Tom’s POV

Walking back home through the dark streets, I begin to think more about what I’ve just agreed too. Is this really the right thing to do? I have no doubts about Anne falling in love with Max again, I know that won’t happen, but is this fair on him? I know he’s with Charly now, and that should mean he’s over her, but what if seeing her again revives his old feelings? That wouldn't be fair on Charly either. And how would I feel about him wanting her again?

By the time I get home, Anne’s still sleeping peacefully; so I quietly undress before gently getting into bed besides her. I wrap my arms around her body as she unconsciously moves herself closer to my body, and I can feel my heart break all over again. How many more nights like this do we still have together? I was imagining my whole life with her, marriage and children; but the fact that everything could be snatched away from us so soon kills me. And I learn never to take anything for granted. Not even life. I start crying again for what feels like the millionth time since we heard the dreaded news; and what seems like an eternity, exhausted I fall into a restless sleep.

Sophie’s POV

The girls and I sit silently in the living room thinking the events of last night through, and I can only imagine that the boys are doing the same; this has come as quite a shock to all of us.

Personally I still can’t quite believe everything that’s happened, just as everything was getting back on track as well. Cancer is something you never really imagine happening to anyone you know, and when it does, it hits you like a tonne of bricks. I know that as soon as Anne moves back in here I’m not going to be able to hate her anymore; I’m going to want my friend back. But at the same time I know that I am going to feel so guilty, because I feel my loyalty should lie with Max. Will he mind me being friends with her again? Or will he resent me for it? And at the same time is it unfair to forget about the past where Anne is concerned but still hate Tom? Surely that would mean I was building bridges between Anne for all the wrong reasons. I should want to be friends with someone because I like them, not because I feel sorry for them, or like I have to. Right? I put my head in my heads as I feel the start of a headache coming on. How did our perfect lives get turned upside down so quickly? I just don’t know what to do.

Anne’s POV

“Hey babe.” Tom says to me, forcing a smile as I open my eyes.

“Morning.” I reply, smiling back at him. “What’s up?” I ask, as I notice him looking a bit uncomfortable about something.

“How do you feel about moving back in with everyone else?” He asks me, unable to make eye contact. I suck in a deep breath from shock; I was not expecting that. But how do I feel about it? I would love the chance to right my wrongs and hopefully get my friends back, before... before it’s all too late. But what will that do to Max, and what if they all hate me and don’t want to know me? How would I cope with that? If that were going to be the case I’d rather just stay here with the little hope that they may have actually cared about me. “I’ve already spoken to them all, they want you back Anne.” Tom says, reading the worry on my face. But do they really mean that? Or do they just think they had to say that?

“We can’t Tom.” I say, shaking my head sadly.

“No we can Anne, we can. We need people around us right now; you could even get your friends back.” He says smiling at me.

“But they all hate us. I don’t want to spend my time where I’m not wanted. I wouldn’t be happy there.”

“And you’ll be happy here, thinking about how you could have made things right, and have your friends back?” No, I won’t. But it’s a hell of a lot easier than seeing the looks of pure hate on the faces of my friends, and the pain on Max’s. Knowing exactly how I’m feeling Tom pulls me closer to him, holding me tight before continuing. “It’s worth a try babe. Just give it ago, that’s all I ask.”

“Okay.” I sigh. Praying to a God that I don’t believe in that they won’t hate me still, that they will accept my apology even though I know it no where near makes up for what I did. And above all; that my last memory of the friends I have had all my life, wont be a look of pure hatred on their faces. How can I live with taking that to my grave?