Friends with Benefits

you

sitting here
alone
my mind wanders
only ever to you
do thoughts of me
plague your mind
as much as thoughts of you
infect mine?

i wonder
did i make you upset?
was it because i told you 'no'?
you've seen all the parts of me
i had wished to hide

your fingers graced my skin
and yet your touch was all a lie?
how long have i known you?
do i even know you anymore?

can't you just love me for one night?

i'm okay if its pretend
none of it to be real
i love you so much
i hold you so close
and yet
there is nothing i feel

you say we're 'just friends'
but we've crossed too many lines
or have the lines crossed us?
one thing i do know is

friends shouldn't hurt me like you do

why?
why can't i get you out of my head?
why can't i just snip this blossom at its roots?
remove the love i feel for you?

then at least i won't be hurting
when you fuck me over
instead of just loving me