For The Better

Diana

After Darius left, I got up and went to use the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet, I started to cry. I am hurting so much inside and all I need is to be held by Darius. I went to lie back in bed and I fell asleep.

When I woke up, Darius was gone and Patience was crying. I went in her room and tended to her. "Hey baby, how you doing? You miss mama?" I kissed her big fat cheeks. I bathed her dressed her and went to my best friend Latasha's house.

"Hey Tash! How you been?" I asked "Ohhh, look at Patience! She is so pretty!" She grabbed Patience and sat down on the couch next to me. "I been good, how you been?" she asked me. I shook my head, sighed deeply and said "I'm here." "Whats been going on?" she asked with a worried look on her face. "Me and Darius .... we together..but its like we're not really together. We living together with our baby, its like we supposed to be a family but we're more like roomates.. it hasn't been the same since Patience was born... we only talk when we're arguing... and all I need is for him to hold me tight and kiss me and tell me everything is going to be okay." I started to cry. "I cheated on him..." "with who?" she snapped "Quon.. we had sex." She shook her head. "You need to stop! You have a whole child... a little girl at that! You're a bad mother." she said to me. "What the fuck? You're actually going to call me a bad mother? You don't know how much I love my child! You have no right to call me a bad mother! You bitch! Give me my baby!" I took Patience from her and stormed out her house. I put Patience in her seat and drove home.

I had a plan to get my man back. I took a shower, cooked some spaghetti, tended to Patience and put her to sleep. I put on some nice lingerie and a robe to cover it up. I shaved every strain of hair off my body and lotioned myself down. Darius walked in right in time. "Hey baby!" I ran up to him and kissed him. I haven't felt those lips in months. The kiss was dry and awkward though. I shrugged it off. "Are you hungry? I cooked some spaghetti, its on the table." "Thanks.." he walked over to the table and ate. After he ate, he went in the bathroom. I went in the bedroom. I laid out on the bed waiting for him. He came in the room took off his jacket and shoes. I came up behind and and started to rub his shoulders. My hand slid from his sholders to his... you know what! Well, I started to rub it and he said "You know Patience is in the house." "Dont worry! I fed her and put her to sleep! She is knocked out... now let me take care of you" I jumped off the bed to the floor under where he was sitting. I unbuttoned his pants and then... we had sex.

The sex was weird. It was distant. He didn't look at me or kiss me. It was... suckish.