No So Far From Reality

What does it take to make a suicide leter?

I'm Isabella, and I happened to be the standard girl type: average school grades, regular family life, simple friends circle, standard free time, etc. I was a medium student, not higher or lower, entirely in the middle. I have a mother, Sky; a father, Julian; four grandparents: Layla, Paul, Raven, and Jack; two sisters, Madelene and Addison; two aunties, Kacee and Fanny; an uncle, Fabian; and three cousins, Louis, Zack, and Mathew. I had four close friends: Olivia, Becki, Tami, and Jaicee, but I talked with pretty much everyone. In my free time, I danced ballet, read a book, or draw something.

I would've had to tell you that four years ago because that was the ideal life I was given and I didn't take advantage of it. Now, all that remains as a vague memory lost in a zillion of painful remembrances. Although it looks like I'm beginning by the end and I shouldn't really do that.

It all began three years ago when my family broke down. My parents' divorce was what basically commenced with the domino effect. Julian, started hitting my mother, Sky, and they both shouted at each other pretty often. After that, I was forced to decide whether to stay with my mother or my father. I always spent more time with my mother, so I stayed with her as well as my sisters. My father would never forgive me for that decision, and I can even say he hated me for leaving him alone. That day I lost my father, but also I lost Paul, Layla, Fanny, Louis, and Zack; they were all from part of my father, and none of them ever forgave me for that.

My mom had changes of her own in this whole situation, she became a cold person. She disappeared almost the full day because she had to work hard to sustain what remained of the family. Every day she became stricter, madder, more irritable, and distant. These small but powerful reactions caused my sisters to change in their ideas too. One of them, Addison, became mean and a liar. The other one, Madelene, became submissive and shy. I had my own changes, but you'll know about them later.

Leaving aside the family's painful story and summarizing it to a new, loveless, bitter lifestyle, we move on to the friends' zone. Later the same year, two of my friends fought, Olivia and Jaicee. But not the typical discussion and pardon, no, this was another big split. So two of my friends left us, and Olivia behaved really weird every time we wanted to speak to them. I was never a person who told problems to anyone, though I said the most to my friends and family, though since that day I couldn't speak with my family due to its separation, neither my friends because they were swamped fighting among them. Maybe yet is not that hardcore, and it doesn't deserve a suicide letter, but I'm not even halfway.

The year afterward, my luck stroke and I had an accident, it wasn't a dead or life accident just a mere misfortune in the school playground. I was with one friend sitting by the edge of the park, and my legs were arranged straight, a grown-up kid past through me running, he fell into the ground. Still, the real problem was that he kicked one of my feet so severely that an uncontrollable pain flushed myself. I went to the nursery from my school, my friend almost lifting me up for me to move. The nurse didn't find any apparent problem, and she sent me back to class, which was my first big mistake, going back to the classroom, ignoring the pain. A few days later, I wasn't even able to place my foot on the ground. The doctor said it was a misplaced bone or something like that; by that time, it sounded horrible, but now I wish it was just that. That supposedly scattered bone was settled back to its place, and everything went back to normal, or that was what I thought. Every month I began with ligament tearings. Each time I did sports, it initiated the pain that indicated to me something was wrong. After two years of having this constant incident, someone finally found my actual problem. While fixing one bone, another moved, causing it to have friction with the ligament and damage it. I had no option, so I had surgery to repair all the damage caused by that mishap. This one might seem to have a happy ending, but it's not over yet, and also I wasted two years of my life apart from the rest because I couldn't run or even move properly.