I need you.

How it began.

When I was 16 my parents got into a big argument that led the cops to come and take us away for 3 months. By us I mean me and my little brother, Bruce. The argument started all when my mom found him and his mistress on their bed having sex. It broke her heart, that she broke into an outrage. A little part of me died. That day left a mark on my heart that cannot be removed. I always thought my dad will stay with us forever. We will have a happy family and everything will always come so easily to us. That dream was shattered. It was a rough 3 months with all this divorce crap. She started a drinking problem and had break downs here and then, but that is only 1/2 of why I'am sad, actually it's only 1/3 of the reason.

It was christmas morning when I found my mom drinking in kitchen. She was crying her heart out. Eyes red, face pale, so...so much anger. I asked what's wrong and she took the anger out on me. She told me I looked so much like my dad she can't stand seeing my every day with out wanting to hurt me, I was a mistake waiting to happen. I ran upstairs to my room and cried until I passed out on my bed. When I awoke I went down stairs to go grab a snack or drink.

"I'm sorry for what I said" " I should have never said that."
"Then why did you?" "You know it hurts me to hear this from the woman I thought was my best friend, my mom..."
"I know it was just out of anger!"
"You know what?" "I don't forgive you...and I will never forgive you!"
"Please!" " your the only person I have to talk too" she said sobbing
"No!" "I'am completely done with you bullshit!"

She fell to the ground and laying there sobbing begging for forgiveness.
I ran upstairs... Packed, ran to Bruce's room packed his stuff, woke him up, walked down stairs to say good bye.., and left. 1 month later,On my 17th birthday... My mom died of an over dose on achool. I never said good bye. I regretted everything. That day was when every part of me died. I was dead.

Later that month of January, I was was diagnosed with depression.

That year was miserable. I had started cutting myself then stopped. I was thinking of suicide, but I was to chicken to do anything. The final exam came along. I passed. I graduated with honors. If my mom was here... She would be so proud of me. It's all my fault.