I like you

Chapter 21

Pavol POV

Dear Avery

Playing Soccer with your Papa was fun, I very much enjoyed your struggling to get the ball from me and Miguel. It was quite entertaining watching you chase after the ball so determined. Even though you ended up losing at least you put the effort in. Your Papa said he's never seen you so riled up before as you stormed into the house from your fit of frustration after losing, I thought it was cute though. Who knew you were a sore loser. But never mind the soccer game, overall I enjoyed hanging out with you and your overly jubilant Papa. He's nothing like mine he's so nice and kind and energetic... My Papa is so stern and he's always got this irritated look on his face. I believe the right term is a resting bitch face. Furthermore, after spending the afternoon at your place, I believe that it'd only be fair to invite you over to my place next Friday. That is if you are interested?...

Well, I'll see you Monday my love and of course, I leave you with these lyrics.

I'm happy for you
I'm smilin' for you
I'd do anything
For you, for you
It's always for you
And never or me- mxmtoon

P.S I'm going through and American music faze.

As usual, I slide the letter into the rouge envelope then lock it in the desk drawer to leave for safekeeping until Monday. I roll the wheely chair across the room and towards the window, nothing stirs but the leaves rustling on the trees, my eyes follow the yellow, orange and red leaves that begin to float towards the ground. Our yellow-tinted porch bulb flickers uncontrollably as it swings back and forth from the autumn wind. Placing my hand under my chin than on the window sill I just stare out the window for what feels like hours.

"Que faites-vous?" Miguel walks into the room and over to the window he looks out at the porch and up at the flickering light bulb. Making a tsk he purses his lips.

"Papa has gotta fix that fucking bulb it's pissing me off." I swivel the chair to look at him, in return he looks down at me with a reticent gaze. 

"Miguel everything pisses you off." He kisses his teeth and sits on the windowsill. One leg dangles down towards the floor while the other one is position against his chest. He hugs his leg while placing his chin on top of his knee. The room goes silent for a few seconds before he speaks.

"Pavol I need to tell you something" I cock my eyebrow up in a Chary manner.

 "I never told you this but the day that you got into that fight with Xavier..." He lowers he voice and inhales deeply.

"Is the day that I found out that I had feelings for him." My mouth hangs open a bit before I begin to giggle.

"Hahah votre droit de plaisanterie?" Miguel doesn't speak he just sits there with his head hanging low.

"Holy shit Miguel ar- are you gay?!" 

"Pavol shut up!" Miguel grits his teeth as his face reddens. He slides off the window sill and stands rights in front of me. As he looks down at me I can see tears welling up in his eyes.

"Pavol." He croaks.

"I-I don't want to have these feelings for him." I single tear runs down his face but he quickly wipes it away. 

I sit there silently taking in all this new information.

"Pavol I feel like shit, I didn't ask for this I don't even know what's going on I don't know why but I just, just I-" His voice begins to strain and soon fresh hot tears are rolling down his face. I quickly stand up from the chair and silently walk to the door. Opening it ajar I pop my head into the hallway and see my parents watching t.v. 

In a rushed silent whisper I tell Miguel to head upstairs before my parents hear him. Miguel is seldom emotional so if our parents see him in this state they'll bombard him with questions till he cracks.

I follow Miguel up the stairs and into our bedroom. He takes a seat on the bed and covers his face with a pillow trying to smother his sobbing. Que devrais-je faire? I've never seen him so distressed before, Oh shit am I gonna have to tell him everything is okay... Merde. After arguing with myself self I stiffly shuffle over to his bed and sit there. He still lays down with the pillow covering his face. I place my hand on his leg and lightly pat it.

"There there brother you'll be fine, it's 2019 nobody cares if you're a homosexual." Miguel immediately sits up and kicks me off the bed. I stick my arms out before hitting the ground.

"Merde why are you such a bitch I'm just trying to comfort you, god!" Miguel stares at me with red puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks he flings the pillow on the ground then lays back onto the bed.

"Pavol don't you understand if Xavier finds out that I have feelings for him our 16-year friendship will be over. This is all so fucked up." Damn, right it is.

"Miguel all of this just doesn't make any sense since when did you realize that your weir gay? H-how do you even know?" 

"I don't know Pavol." His voice rises a little in frustration.

"I've never really had a crush on anybody before, all those girlfriends that I went had in the past I-I didn't really like them I was just with them for the sake of dating them. Now that I think about it I never really felt anything for anybody except Xavier, he's the only person that makes me feel well the way you feel for Avery that's how I feel for him. My eyes widen.

Holy shit he's in love with that obnoxious little piece of shit. Merde.

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