- "One more." I said to myself as I caught the teardrops in my hand. The pain, it was hard to explain, it was both relieving and unbearable. I pressed the razor against my skin firmly, the blood slowly oozed out as I pulled it across my arm. All I could think about was the words that had been directed to me... "Hey faggot" "Screw you fag" Fag. Faggot. Fag. It kept repeating, the word kept repeating itself in my head, as if it was stuck on replay. It wouldn't stop!
I pressed again.
As I slowly stood up, gaining balance, I skimmed the room for some alcohol...pure alcohol. I poured the clear liquid over my cut arms. I squinted in pain. I could feel a single teardrop trickle down my face, it's like I could almost hear it splash on the floor..........
Time for school...yay.
I slipped on my tight black jeans, put on one of my Metallica t-shirt, and over that my leather jacket. After that I put on my eyeliner and quiffed my bang over my eye. I was all set, good morning world.
At school I looked for Luke in the hallway.
Luke, Luke was the the reason I put up with ,y life. He was literally the reason I got up in the morning. I loved Luke. And Luke loved me. The only problem is that the idea of "freedom of love" was not really promoted here in Texas. So, we were a secret. And we had to hide it the most from his Dad, school, and his friends.
When I finally found Luke at lunch, he was sitting with his jock friends from his team. Luke had a black eye... Could it be that his dad found out? Or was it the kidnapping he escaped? -_-
But it all made sense now, why Luke stopped talking to me, why he avoided me.
At that very moment, Luke glared at me. It was felt like he shot me, with an arrow, as if it hit my heart and he pulled it out yet somehow I was alive and just wanted to die.
Days passed and nothing was improving between Luke and I and between me and myself. So I went over to his house, you know so we could sort things out. And if I got luck, I'd get some action. ;)
I knocked twice and rung the doorbell. After about five minutes of waiting, I let myself in. The house was literally deserted. I swear to god I could literally here the wind! I was about to leave until I heard glass shatter. It came from the basement. So naturally I walked over there. As I got closer I could, I could make out the voices of Luke and, his dad. I walked in on Luke's dad banging Luke's head on the hard ground! My heart stopped for a second, they didn't see me yet, I couldn't move.
- " STOP! " I yelled, " You're gonna kill him! " I ran closer and was stopped my the voice of Luke.
- " GET OUT! "
- " Is he the shit fag? " said Luke's dad " He is isn't he. " he grabbed my shirt and pulled me closer " If I ever catch you with Luke again, I'll murder you. "
He pushed me out, and shut the door.
- " No! Not Luke!" I fell on the hard ground of the outside, this is my fault.
At lunch the other day, I was walking passed Luke's table, I looked at him with a glimmer of hope. He didn't look back. Right then, a fucking one of his jocks tripped me, I fell on my lunch tray. The table table started laughing, and when looked at Luke, he was laughing too, and although I knew it was a fake laugh, it was too much. A human can only handle so much. I couldn't take it, I would NOT take it.
I walked towards Luke.
- " IS THERE SOMETHING YOU'RE GONNA SAY? " I screamed
- " Why would I " I pushed him
- " Oh, you know why. "
I walked away, simply I wanted it to end there, but no.
- " Whatever faggot. " said Luke
- " What ?! "
- " You heard me. "
I punched him. Right in the face. IT WAS TOO MUCH. THIS IS FUCKING UNREAL. Bye.
He was found face down on the street. He jumped.
