Big Pretty Words

Am I a terrible person?

Would you rather love someone dying or already dead?

"neither" I quietly said

But neither wasn't an option.

And so I thought with caution.

I try to go to sleep —— And fear creeps

I can't close my eyes and my belly aches

Because I can't be sure they will wake

When morning comes I might be alone

I can't tell their pain from my own

Is it selfish to be sad?

I'm not the only one who loves them.

Is it selfish to be mad?

It is no one's fault.

It is cruel how I feel———But I can't hide what's real

If they left, their pain would be gone

I can't stand to watch their suffering drag on

Every day more falls apart

Every day breaks another heart

If they pass, so will our hope

But suffering and nothing are both hard to cope

Through all their pain

I can't be sure if anything is gained

Quietly they lay in bed

"Would you rather love someone dying or already dead?"