Headshrinker

Chapter 12

My lectures were over for the morning and I was walking back to my flat, ready to study when I ran into Guigsy. Even though I was focused on getting in and working, I was more than happy to stop and talk to him.

We got chatting, stood in our places.

"Are you free to do summat?" he asked.

"Sure, tomorrow."

"I'll take you out somewhere."

"Not a date?"

"No, just as friends, away from the lads."

"Where?"

"Dunno, the boardwalk?" We both laughed and he spoke again. "Dunno, you'll have to see."

Once that was agreed we took off in our different directions. I was happier for seeing him and I was excited for tomorrow.

Valentines day-ish came and I had to go meet Guigsy. I didn't know how to take it. It was like a date because it was close to Valentine's Day but we weren't doing that so it wasn't a date.

I didn't know what to wear or how to have my hair. I didn't like dressing up at all so I went casual and had my hair tied up out the way. The whole thing was just awkward because we were both confused about what we wanted from it. Or we both wanted very different things. We'd never been so awkward. I wished I hadn't agreed to it.

...

The band were off in Liverpool recording their demo album with the Real People but they still found time for sessions at the Boardwalk which gave me chance to see them and catch up with them. There was one time when I got to the rehearsal room Noel really didn't want me in the room. He and Liam mainly, were arguing. I was ordered to stay out of it. It was so tense I had no problem leaving them.

I stayed outside the room listening though. It was like a live soap opera so I couldn't help sticking around for the drama. Noel wouldn't stop questioning Liam's dedication to the band. He hadn't wanted to be at this rehearsal session and he'd been late other times, things like that. Noel just couldn't understand that the others weren't quite so serious about giving all their spare time to being in that room. He demanded all or nothing.

"It's like being in fucking school, this is." Liam yelled, ripping open the door and slamming it shut behind him as he stormed out. "I don't wanna be a singer and I don't wanna work with you. Prick!"

"Well I don't wanna work with a lazy shit like you and you can't fucking sing." I heard Noel shout back, not very convincingly. "Get out."

"I'M GOING."

Liam saw me, grabbed my hand and took me with him in his whirlwind. "Come on, Kassie."

I was apparently just the company he needed to let off the steam Noel had boiled in him. I wasn't given a choice but I definitely didn't resist.

He wouldn't let go of the attitude Noel was giving him. We got sat at the bar and he kept the drinks flowing for himself. He was still going on with how bad it was to have a brother like Noel as he stress smoked his way through a fag out in the cold outside.

I stamped out his cigarette butt for him and kissed him, just to get him to shut up. He didn't need any other signals from me. He led me to a dark, secluded enough ginnel down the side of the building. He'd clearly been there before.

He was a man of a lot more words than Guigsy. He monologued as we got down to business in the grimy alleyway. Still going on about his brother.

It was like I wasn't really there. I wasn't listening to him. My mind was completely elsewhere. If it wasn't for my back hitting against the cold hard bricks, keeping me in place, I could've been somewhere else. It was nothing on his performance. I often felt that way, like I was just watching everything go by, even my own actions. It felt like there was another layer of something in the air everyone else had and I was alien to it.