let go

Let me pretend.

"You know it breaks my heart when soulmates die ten years apart and lonely souls are left to sit and wait." He would reminisce about the song his mother would sing to him. He missed his mother greatly but of course, everyone had to stop dwelling on the past sometimes; Chase's time was now.

Chase Grey Jones, A.K.A CJ, was the name of the hapless young man; he had been only 14 when his mother had died. He was now 16. Chase took the loss the hardest due to his close relationship with his dear, dead, mother. His high school days were slowly coming to an end, all without her there to guide him along in this mess of a world he was hurled into. She met her demise that day, May 20th, exactly a month before his birthday on the 20th of June. He stopped celebrating his birthday after that.

Now he was waking up from the night prior spent with his boyfriend Devon Hayden Holbrook- or as Chase would call him when they were younger, Brooky. As children, Brooky and CJ had a very... close? Bond. Poor CJ was too naive for his good and that lead to some of the other kids taking advantage of his good nature.

He had quite the feminine build and as a young boy his sister would always dress him up in her old skirts and worn out, faded white Doc Martens. All he was to her was a plain barbie doll she could design herself: he was easily replaceable and held no significant value in her light caramel eyes. Throughout the years, his expresso brown hair had been bleached and dyed over a million times, his face had been caked in various makeup products and his dainty feet had gotten used to wearing heels without pain. He was trapped in this cycle like a performing animal in a circus; he was only there for her amusement. His dad didn't know what his delicate son had been through due to his comatose like state caused by the effects of alcohol. However, his sister's intentions were pure but in the end, it was quite a painful and traumatic time in the younger years of CJ's life.

After his mother's death, his father met a young woman who was around his sister Emily's age, Emily was 5 years older than C.J, his father was in his late 40's and his girlfriend was a BITCH, she was rude, crude and unsympathetic. He wasn't seen his father in a year or so.

Brooky was his shoulder to cry on; he had always been there for Chase and only death would part the connection between the boys... or so they thought.

over the years Brooky had grown cold and unforgiving, his protectiveness towards CJ had become possessiveness leading to poor CJ only being a toy, unfortunately, he could not see Brooky's newfound persona and therefore he stayed by his side... what a mistake that was. All throughout his life he had been manipulated and abused. He would tell himself he was fine, so what was one more lie going to do.

All he needed to do was to keep lying to himself, to keep telling himself he "was fine" or he "deserved this". he needed help, he knew that However, he didn't know how to ask for it.