If Carpets Could Rule The World (and other stories)

If Carpets Could Rule The World

My grandmother always struck me as a cat person, not the kind who hoarded secret magical objects.

To be honest, I had no idea the rug qualified as a 'secret magical object' until I tried sitting on it. Then it violently bucked and tossed me to the floor.

Clearly, that carpet has issues.

I give the carpet an evil eye and sit down on it, to which it promptly throws me off again. It must have something against the Spacious Behind of Annika Kyu.

The non-magical, spacious behind of Annika Kyu, I might add.

"MOM!" I holler, keeping an eye on the rebellious furnishing. "IT FLIES!"

"What flies?" She joins me in the Stare-fest, putting her hands on her hips as a relieved smile crosses her lips. "Hey, old Bufford. I thought Mom had lost that years ago."

"You can't just go 'hey, old Bufford' and not tell me!" I accuse, trying to plop back on 'old Bufford' - who shakes me off of his green-and-gold exterior like a small puppy.

Mom catches my wrist. "Bufford's just the carpet, Annika. Perhaps you should treat it gently, like..." She strokes the worn fibres gently, successfully earning herself a seat as the things swings gently back and forth. "Like this."

I huff and cross my arms. "Couldn't our heirloom be a sceptre, or an ancient wand- instead of ancient room furnish-"

"Annika!"

"Sorry, animated carpet mine." I look anywhere but the carpet, and it looks like the carpet is having the same doubts about our friendship. "Can't imagine why Grandma decided to leave me this."

"At least try to be friends," my mom says, already by the doorway. "Or keep from destroying it."

"Huh," I mutter once it's just the two of us in the room. "What mischief can I cause with you?"

The carpet looks more susceptible to that suggestion, if carpets can have opinions. "Ready to carry me yet?"

When it slams the stiff edge of the mat into my knees, I decide the answer must be no. "Come on, I can think of a billion uses for a carpet like you."

No reply. I sigh and sit cross-legged on the floor before it. "I'm like the dumb kid, Buffy. You've got to understand. It's like I can't do spells or curse people. I can just... curse."

The carpet still doesn't seem impressed, so I take it to the window- giving it an ample view of all the places that are just within our reach, if only we could work together. "I mean, do you see how cool that would be? You and I, we could rule the world!"

The carpet sweeps me off my feet and dumps me in the garden- right in the wettest, just-been-watered, fresh-with-fertiliser part. My face heats up, and as I look above at the suspended, oversized, rag, I make a decision.

I guess carpets don't want to rule the world.

I'll just have to do it myself. 

[an Aim To Engage entry]