It finally happened, what I had dreamed to happen sooner or later.
Once just a dream, now a reality.
It happened after an accident.
I couldn’t believe it, but it was really happening.
I was falling apart, my life slowly started to deteriorate.
Which I thought would be good. But for very obvious reasons,
It wasn’t.
I don’t know why, but I wasn’t very surprised when I had found out about my condition.
But that apparently wasn’t the same story for everyone else.
Even though I knew that it could greatly affect my life, and everyone I knew, everyone who had cared for me, was concerned about me, especially my friends and family, and what it could do to me as well.
Slowly, thoughts of disturbing ideas started to show up in my head, I wasn’t crazy, but it felt like I was.
They said that I need to exercise more, eat more, and sleep more.
That wouldn’t have been so hard if it wasn’t for my Fatigue, Anorexia, and Insomnia, all I wasn’t exactly born a strong person.
Everybody was worried about me. I wasn’t.
Considering that I was “sick” and that I needed “help”, I don’t really see any way they could have helped me, partially because I was simply just that stubborn.
They started giving me Meds for it, therapy even, but it was all for naught.
I don’t really see what good would have come to doing those things anyways, why? Because first, the drugs they were giving me to make me feel better, made me feel way worse, and in more ways than one.
Second, the therapy just made me irritable.
And last, I was an introvert, I hated people.
My friends, or at least those who didn’t hate me, I could tolerate them.
As for everyone else, I just hated every single moment I would stay with them.
I started remembering those thoughts I had last time, the suicidal kind of thoughts, they had pierced through my head.
And I had actually considered some of them.
I didn’t like the idea of using the drugs through overdose, mostly for the reason because that it is handled by my personal nurse, Paige, she was my friend, I could tell she liked me, and I knew couldn’t talk her out of anything.
I wanted to feel a peace, one which cannot ever be obtained through living.
I wanted to kill myself in a way that I would slowly pass away, happily.
But it would have to take some planning, and the perfect timing, because my watcher kept an eye on me almost all the time, probably so I wouldn’t try anything stupid.
