This is the story of how I died.
It all started two and a half years ago back at home in my room. "Woof!" "what is it boy" I asked my best friend Dug "woof!" I presumed someone had let themselves into the house. "Who is it?" after I received no answer I decided to go downstairs.
When i got there Dug was staring at the door which was slightly opened so i decided to have a look outside.
"Hello!" no one was out there and I'm sure Dug wouldn't have barked for no good reason. "Hello!" I yelled again hoping some one would yell back or something. "Is anyone-" I stopped because for a split second i saw a shadow of.. umm.. I don't know a kind of thing with too many arms and no feet or something just around the corner of my house.
I went to investigate but when i was around the corner all I could see was overgrown bushes and an overgrown lawn.Then I saw something on the ground not a normal something it was a kind of machine.
"What is it?" I asked myself. "Where did it come from?" then I turned it over and notices an arrow type shape in the middle of the thing which was moving to point the same way whichever way I turned. Considering I'm not being the brightest person in the world it took me some time to figure out what you've probably already figured out. "ohhhh!!" I yelled finally figuring out what it was. "Its a compass!" it was certainly a kind of compass but not exactly what i thought.
After minutes tinkering with the 'sort of compass' I started to form an idea that it wasn't a north, west, east and south compass because it didn't have any NESW on it so it must be leading me somewhere.
So, being me I followed the arrows directions as closely as i could. Eventually after wandering around for a while it pointed along the beach. Whilst going along the beach towards the ocean I heard a kind of moaning of to my right. I headed towards the noise.Then I found myself at a giant hole in the sand.
I looked down inside and screamed at what I saw.
"Ahhhh!!" I yelled quite loudly "what the hell is that 'thing'?!".
"Dambit dambit dambit!!" yelled the thing "Help me!".
"hang on, what?" I asked "you speak english?".
"Yes yes yes of course i do, why wouldnt I?" asked the thing.
"well your kind off a 'thing'" I whispered trying not to offend the 'thing'.
"well i speak english get over it!" exclaimed the thing "and my names not 'thing' as you seem to call its Ronald".
"Hold on a minute let me get this straight your a something that speaks english and your name is Ronald?" I asked.
"yes apart from the fact Im of the race called stackoids" proclaimed ronald "but enough about me what about you whats your name?".
"My name that is probably something i should tell you and i sure will definitely tell you" I was trying to improvize whilst remembering my name " so i will tell you my full and propper name write about now" and i finally remembered " my name is TLM short for Tony Leonard Marony but people call me the lasagne man because of my initials".
