I woke up sweating and crying, my peepee ichted as i wiped the tears from my eyes. I looked over at the clock, 5:57 AM, just in time to jerk off before school.
"WATANABE!!!! ITS TIME FOR SCHOOL, GET READY YOU TWAT!" Mum called.
Fuck, i was about to "yaknow". I quickly put away my fleshlite in the usual spot as to not tempt myself to go further. As i walked down the hall towards the kitchen i could hear the birds chirping to the beat of Africa by Toto.
I arrived at the kitchen to find my mum and my step dad going at it against the counter. Jesus fucking christ. I grabbed the dojin i left on the table last night and my breakfast and ran back to my room before the could notice me.
After i put on my ripped school uniform and packed my books into my anime backpack, i downed my breakfast in mere seconds and burped as loud as a dying cow. For a second after looking at my watch i thought there might be enough time to bust a nut but sadly, there wouldnt be as the bus would be here any minutes now. I decided to put that off until after school and headed out to the bus stop. I didn't bother saying bye to mom 'cause she was still making out with my step dad.
As i got onto the bus i averted my eyes from literally everyone while i walked down to the same seat i always sat in without saying a word. Some kid sitting in the seat in front of me yeeted his head around to face me, called me a cuck, turned back around, and put headphones in. What a truely epic thing to do.
The rest of the bus ride was smooth sailing though luckily, and i got into class without being insulted by anyone else. First period was Fuck Check©, my favourite class. I got out my Fuck Check© workbook and pen and waited patiently for the teacher to arrive. Our teacher, Mr Cocknballs, appeared to be running late which was very rare for him. I checked my watch once more wondering how much longer he'd be just as he burst through the door. He had the usual pink cigar hanging out from his mouth and his hair was an utter mess.
"Sorry im late everyone, " he said.
One of the teacher's pets asked him, "Are u okay mr cocknballs?"
"Yes, yes, im perfectly fine, just ate a little too much weed this morning."
That made sense, everyone in our class knew that he's the biggest druggo in town. As he put his stuff down he put out his cigar and yeeted it into the bin.
"Ok class, time to start the lesson, take out your Fuck Check© work books and turn to page 68."
...
The rest of the day flew by without me noticing, which i was thankful for because who the fuck likes school right? I grabbed my bag and collected my stuff then proceeded to naruto run out of the building at mach 2. I was almost at the bus when i noticed something on the ground. I was going at almost the speed of light however and didnt have enough time to stop myself before i got to it. Its was a mofo pot hole. I ran straight into it and tripped over, spilling the hundreds of porn dojins i had in my bag everywhere.
"Fook!"
I hurriedly started picking them up before any normies could see but it was already too late. As if i wasnt already considered enough of a degenerate by everyone, now they also know about my hard porn addiction too.
Everyone started laughing. Even a few people had their mac books out recording me. This was very epic.
"OH OHOHOHO OH" i said. (Like a gorilla)
Everyone immediately understood and went back to their normal activities. Few, that was a close one. Thank god for the universal monkey code, works everytime.
After that i got home reasonably unscathed and went straight to my room. After jerking off i played about 14 hours of osu! And then slept for an hour before it was time for school once again.
Ah yes the life of a degenerate.
