Riff
It was dark in my room. Maybe mom had forgotten to pay the bills again this month, which knew? All I knew was that she was off with that idiot Roger still. Didnt know how ling that would last, things like that with mom never did. But she hasn't been home for the past few days which made one thing very clear.
Smoking was off limits no where, meaning I had a free pass.
I dont know, it was common for teens to feel their rebellious phases and swings but being 17 I wasnt sure if me or that convenient store owner down the street thought any different.
What I did know what that I had this streak. It wasnt like anything to hurt myself. It was more of not wanting to exist. Be physically present. I didnt hate myself, I was average looking and had a semi decent lifestyle but it was an urge. It had been making me sleep a bit more and question more darker things. I had already attempted before.
It was more of a scenario when I hadn't been feeling and I just jumped. Broke a rip and a leg, but I was up again very soon. I dont know what's wrong with me but all I know is the simple facts. My name is Riff and and I dont want to be here.
Wade
Hoding everything behind a plastic face was hard. A flawless appearing life, while home wasnt hard one thing was. Secrets. Boys. Boys had always been a big secret from father and mother. An only child, their only shot at showing how successful their legacy would be to continue on.
Yet I was cracked. Boys were the weakness in my knees that made me stumble to find any sort of other purpose than hiding what was wrong with me. And hey, if it's broken why try fixing it. I want to be gone, away from how shame filled I really am. Disgusted and Repulsive. Everyone would be shocked. So why not take away the whole problem itself. Me.
Riff♤
Jesus why does everyone in ohio want to just blow their head off, I need someone close. That preferably doesnt want to go from the mouth of a gun. This was well, a big secret if mine.
A buddy site, for well, pacts. Death ones. Suicide feels off to say given my circumstance. That's what all those ladies in the children's ward may have said but I didnt like the term. It didnt feel right.
But I had decided that I wanted to do it right and end it correctly this time, no fuck ups or room for errors. This time it had to work. And who would I trust more than the people of online also looking for a way out.
Wade◇
Fag. That's what they'd call me. Fairy, other things could be worse and I didnt want to handle that.
I looked into the mirror, combing a hand back through my rather wavy hair, scrunching up my nose a bit as I looked to the scar on my chin. Mama always said it gave me character while Pops said it was what had made me so weak as a child.
I shook my head and slid on my Letterman's jacket huffing as I left the house without a goodbye.
Putting on that face and exterior at school had gotten much easier. Faking things until I got where I needed to be had just become so much more natrual. But sometimes things caught me off guard and I didnt know how I could possibly ever respond. And that was what was happening right now.
Riff♤
I had seen only a simple thumbs up picture through our site and we had exchanged a few messages, discussing how we would want to go, but nothing too serious all I knew was his online name. Sparrow.
But one thing I had seen was that ring in the thumb. Black with gold engravings and a silver line down the back, as well as a very distinctive mole on the thumb.
And seeing that in the hand I least suspected, well it was a shock.
Wade. Football player, captain of the weight lifting team had that ring. That mole. That same tan skin. He couldn't be mistaking it could he. He studied it just a bit more throughout the day, just passing by slower and gazing at it a bit more, plus he did sit in front of me in Calc.
I couldn't be mistaken right. Wade. The Wade Rikvin wanted to die. He had no right.
The thought of it made a different sort of anger well up, yet again it wasnt like he knew for sure and there was really only one way I could find out and I didnt have much to lose if I was already dying right.
Wade◇
I saw a boy, deathly pale with brunette hair making his way toward me, or maybe he was just going to pass me like the past five times he had already done that day. Yet this time he seemed to be right on my exact trail, in my way. His hair swishes as he walked, his green eyes seeming to shimmer with a sort of burning questioning.
He stopped in front of me and before I could demand him to move he said something that instantly struck.
"Are you Sparrow?"
Riff♤
It was very daring, something that wasnt usually my roll and I saw that instant panic in the other males eyes burn. That's how I knew. He sharply said
"Dont say that. Not here or now."
His tone was awfully dark yet I did my best at not being phased, that small chill brushing against my ribs.
"Please just dont bring this up and we can message later." He said with a curt nod. I agreed not wanting any more trouble before watching him circle off.
Wade Rikvin huh. What a time to be alive.
