FAITHFUL BOND ♡

21.BESTFRIENDS

Habit
~Louis Tomlinson

I always said that
I'd mess up eventually.
I told you that,
so what did you expect from me?
It shouldn't come as
no surprise anymore.
I know you said that
you'd give me another chance.
But you and I knew the truth
of it in advance.
That mentally you were already
out the door.

Never thought that giving up
would be so hard.
God, I'm missing you and
your addictive heart.

You're the habit that I can't break.
You're the feeling I can't put down.
You're the shiver that I can't shake.
You're the high I need right now.

I took some time
'cause I ran out of energy,
Of playing someone I heard
I'm supposed to be.
But honestly,
I don't have to choose anymore.
And it's been ages, different stages.
Come so far from Princess Park.
I'll always need you.
In front of me, in front of me.

You give me the time and the space
I was out of control.
And I'm sorry I let you down.
Guess that I know what
I already knew.
I was better with you
And I miss you now

-♡-

CHAPTER 21 : BESTFRIENDS

ROYAL'S POV

I woke up with a smile today , a genuine one .

Instead of recalling the sad memories , I remembered all the good ones , especially of me and my mom .

'Sorry for hurting myself intentionally or unintentionally ',
I apologized to myself because that's what my mother would like to know .

To know that I'm happy in spite of all the pain , that I still believe in God and the fact that she's still with me.

I hate myself for how I treated Izzy lately !
She didnt deserve any of this shit , any of my shit to be specific .

If it wasn't for her , I would have made a complete mess out of myself .

Looking at her , I am consumed by our old memories and how things were between us . 

The truth is I considered her as my bestfriend all along but when it was the time to leave everything behind ,
I couldn't help but realise that our Bond was more special than I ever thought and how intentionally or unintentionally I ended up falling for her .

And I don't regret our last moment . Not only was it her first kiss but also mine.

Maybe the fact that it was our first made it more special because what I felt then was incomparable and irreplaceable. 

I wanted to thank her but she was gone before I even woke up.

So for now , I'll just send her a text .

I can't believe winter break is approaching and this year as well ,
I'd have to be stuck here instead of my home .

Not that I can't go or something, because I can but I dont want to .
I'm...  scared.
But that doesn't mean I don't miss my father or sister , because I do , a lot!

I haven't spoken to Izzy's parents as well in a long time and I miss them too .

It was something I had to sacrifice because talking to them meant talking with Izzy and at that time , if she had realised that I had feelings for her , our bond would have been on stake which I didn't want .