Beautifully broken

My fate

~BUZZ~ BUZZ~

I woke up  from a sound  i already hated.~BUZZ~ The warmth of my bed was more addicting  than the alarm that  wouldn't  stop ringing.Giving up i turn to the side reaching for my phone.The chills i got from the cold air meeting my  warmed skin weren't enjoyable.

Trying now to find the comfortable position i left behind for my alarm and hoping finally i will find some peace , some time to get myself together to live without fearing a judgment , words that would put me in a deeper ,darker place than that one i already was on.At this moment  my eyelids  felt like they were forced to get closed ,even my mind wasn't capable to think anymore.The sunlight that shined my room left and darkness covered my eyes,filling more safer in my faked reality. 

I always thought that waking up and falling asleep will be the easiest part of a day in our life,lately that has changed.Days going by without sleeping overthinking  the judgments ,the way i should appear to be acceptable in front of their eyes,not wanting to wake up, fearing it more and more as the days go by.One is the thing that i never regret making it part of my life was Kate.My best friend,my sister,my everything .There isn't  a word that i can explain the meaning that she has in my life ,the help she gave me in the worst and best times.

I woke up  as soon as i fell asleep. Getting my phone that wasn't far from me this time, i checked the time and it was 8.34 am.Forcing my legs to move i got up and made my way to the kitchen for breakfast."Here we go again living a life ruled by others" i sad as i went down the stairs. Did i mentioned that i live alone no siblings, no parents, no blood relations.How did this happen? Well lets say that they hated me accept my mum she loved me with all her heart even though she was the one that brought me here.

I don't blame her. She saved me from a group of monsters with eyes filled with lust and hunger for a hopeless prey to come in there hands.There wasn't just one monster they were three.My father and two brothers, taking advantage of me. I remember the day i saw their true faces shined out like it was yesterday .Opening my eyes  understanding  there purpose  of needing me. I was little 13-14 maybe when my father beat me because  i wasn't following his "orders".We were alone until my brothers entered  the house. With my legs trembling i when next to them hoping everything will end like that and they will do something to him.Oh gosh i was wrong.They were twice as bad as him.

Still  fearing my life i run with my eyes full of tears and wishing under my breath that i was dead by now.Not long after i hear my 'father' ordering them to get  after me.I was out of breath shaking under my one skin running as fast as i could.I manged to lose them by closing myself in a room on the first floor.Trying to relax myself so i could think how to get out of this cursed house,but the adrenaline that was rushing within my blood was hard to get in control.

'BANG' BANG' "Open the door Y/N, nothing is going to happen.It will be fun  we will just play a little that's all. It's not a big deal sis"and both of them started laughing."NEVER!!!"i shouted with all my force."So you are here"one of them spoke. Instantly i regretted my words."Open the door now Y/n.We don't have any time to lose."he said way angrier this time.In front of me i had  a window that accessed me the  road through the forest next to our town. Without thinking it twice i slammed my  body through the window.The pain from the glass cutting my skin like paper wasn't the worst one yet,the moment my body hit the glassy ground my hole body was in pain.I slowly opened my eyes and it looked like red was the only color i could see.It was everywhere in  my hands, the ground ,the glasses weren't clear anymore the red covered them in seconds.The best part was that this was my own blood.Fighting with my fate and pain i got up from the ground. Running  again i started to see the surroundings so i could find a place to hide.

The glass in my legs was going deeper with each step that i took.My body now was numb and i couldn't make the difference between the pain from the glass and the shivers from the cold air that meet my body since the moment i made contact  with the outside world.That night i found a good hiding place at the woods and stayed there. Dealing with the pain of the truth,of the life i had the change to live in.At this point i thought  about my mum.Was she like the others or she was going to help me.

Crying more to the point that i got a headache i  finally got the change to be  alone and free from the real pain.Well in the end this was my fate right? This was meant to be and i survived....