The Blame

Rahama looked across the theatre anticipating a hello which never arrived, I pretended not to notice.
oh no!!
We made eye contact,
I swiftly turned to my book and then nervously to the lecturer at the podium, indecisive of where to look, i pretended to pay keen attention to what he was saying.

He seemed to be stressed out about his job. He was a tall and well fed man, but with eyes draped and crimson, giving you the impression he hasn't slept in weeks, but as far back as I know Dr Rashid, so were as far back those eyes were.
Facts says he hated his job as much as the student hated the course and rumours have it; he's been through so much in a single lifetime and by God...!!! it's a slim thread that holds his soul to sanity.
With an overcrowded five hundred seaters lecture theatre with a thousand student, he felt incapable, and twenty years of the same routine and same words seems to take the thrill out of the word perfection. I looked closely and attentive but couldn't grasp a word, this is the third time this week I'm late for class and I'm going back empty, about the knowledge of the day. The air conditioning is down, electricity is down,  the speakers and sound systems are rodent cities flourishing upon the mismanagement of the building. It's hot, not just because of the power cut, but also the climate.
I again have to depend on someone elses jotting, which most times isn't reliable. He said something and the early birds laughed, but it seemed the joke itself no longer amuses him, words that he has memorised over years into perfection seems not to carry the fun nor meaning it once had, the humour was gone, every bit of life the words may have carried was gone like a dandelion on the sub Saharan wind.
His hands waved side to side in illustration of inaudible words. The choreography itself seemed to have a pattern, mocking it's own master. Dr Rashid seemed to have lost his fight but his face gave a smile so perfectly in harmony with the dull glitter in his eyes, you'd think he's the happiest person alive from a distance.
He turned to the white board and wrote "who's at fault"?
He packed up his notes and yelled 'assignment' and left the class.

She came straight up to me after the class and said,

You seem shy when I'm around, are you OK.... ?

What...!!!

I gave her that you probably don't know what youre talking about look.
shrugged and turned to take my leave but her hand griped mine.
She then added

"what's wrong"?

I'm simply not the type of person you would like to associate with, I have quite the reputation. And it's taking all my energy to constrict, I replied.

I love you "she said" straight up.

I looked at her, keenly, pitying her, hoping she was joking.

What? I asked.

I said I love you !!

Almost amazed at her confidence or just too good an actor.

Thank you, I replied.
Pretending not to make a big deal of it.
She got Frustrated and slapped me, I didn't utter a word. She turn to take her leave but stalled.
I won't say she's naive or has no idea what she was doing, She was well aware of what she's delving at.

what's that for? I asked.

That's for making me look cheap, she replied.

How on earth did I make you look cheap, I barked.

Do you know the level of courage I came to you with.

"I like you" I replied,
but I'm very unhealthy to you and your emotions and I can't date you because you love me, if that happens to be true.

She went for the door and decided to turn around to make a point.
She was about to talk but i interrupted

"I like you that's why I can't date you..."

That didn't make sense to me either.
She had a little glow and then left.

Are you mad.....?
A voice whispered to my ear, I turned to find Jason behind me giving a smile and waving her bye.

What that suppose to mean? I asked.

You're really going to give up that....
Making an illustrative gesture towards her that portrays perfection
Oh my God !!!
for what na....
A month old repentance non sense?
You're lost, He added.
When it's out of your system, call me. For now you're below my thinking capacity. And he also left.

I headed for the door.
Outside, were student seated, reading for the next class. Some now rushing back into the building,
I looked up, storm clouds were brewing ahead, the wind was coming and it comes dusty in this part of the world.
For Christ sake where on earth do you have a hot wind, dust and rain? I asked my self.
I need to rush to my apartment before it reaches me.