Sweet Dreams

HAVEN

I used to think that my past was like a coffin, buried deep underground with secrets that would never be brought to light. I filled my head with thoughts and lies, that disappointment would be all that would await me if I ever found out. I didn't want to get hurt, so I hid in my insecurity. I never did like it when people asked me questions. It was not what they asked but rather how they asked. Their eyes that feigned care never fooled me. They never cared; they just didn't understand how it must have felt. Well, I knew the truth, and it felt like shards of glass; the pain of waking up to nothing and knowing no one.

I knew when I was forgetting, but I could never fathom whatever it was, so days would pass until it hit months and those months would go to years until I finally realized that my search was one devoid of hope. The reality sunk in. The world had forgotten about me, and time had passed without a care. Just for a single moment, it felt like time had stopped for me. As my world came crashing down again, it hit me much worse since there was no one beside me.

I felt like a ghost among people. I was alone and miserable. No matter how many times I reached out of the darkness, I could never escape. Maybe that was why when the papers came, a small sliver of hope planted itself in my heart. They were both a child's nightmare and dream. It was a marred perspective, a microcosm of the life of an orphan. The adoption forms. As I held on to the confirmation that I was going to have a family, I couldn't help but smile at the stern-looking faces that came in the orphanage. This time, I will be happy—with people that wanted me.

And I was happy. The orphanage that took me in loved me, and every day felt like a never-ending dream. HAVEN, it was called, short for Home to All Vulnerable, Estranged, and Neglected. My parents had abandoned me, that was more or less the explanation I got. They said it was because I had supernatural powers of a sort, and that was also why I couldn't remember a thing. I couldn't care less when I found out. It was a wonder how trivial it seemed now. All the abject misery that came in slow degrees now felt more like a bout of a fit I had when I was much younger.

I learned more about my so-called powers in the orphanage. I couldn't get along with normal people because I was more compatible with nature. It was surreal, communing with nature. I understood what they wanted to tell me, and they did for me too. It was weird at first. No one opens up to having all their thoughts and dreams accessible to beings that you never thought were alive—that were like you. Slowly, as time passed, it filled up the hole in my heart. People don't have the fortune of having someone know you so well, that when you didn't speak, they could still understand you all the same. I found a new friend in my power. Nature. It was everywhere, and I was never going to be alone anymore. I had the orphanage people, my new friends and so much more.

10 years passed in the blink of an eye. I was graduating.

I was awoken by the slight chatter of birds. Soft rays of a golden hue fell down to my brows. I blinked, trying to adjust to the glaring light. I felt inner peace, smiling at the warmth of the sun. It was the best feeling whenever I woke up.

I slowly sat up, stretching my arms out to the light. I approached my closet, rummaging through the mess to find my gown. When I found it, I quickly put it on and grabbed the hood and cap I had set on the drawer the day before. A frisson of excitement flowed through my nerves as I contemplated on what was to come.

The mist of morning dew had settled in, and the day bathed in the afterglow of the sun's hue. It was a bright day, the sort that would make you feel all warm and giggly inside. The sun kissed my tanned skin, leaving trails of freckles along them. The wind whipped through my hair, making a mess of whatever coiffure the spirits had worked so hard to make for me. I breathed in and out, taking in the serenity of the atmosphere. The sweet fragrance of grass intoxicated me as I ran across the field with my feet bare. I stopped confining myself to shoes a long time ago.