She'll never know... (girlxgirl)

Chapter 6

The weekend was a drag. I spent it all in my room under my sheets, praying to die. I can't believe I did that.

And I have to face her now. I don't want to go to school. I wanna stay here and hope to disappear.

I silenced my alarm and slowly got out of bed. I took a quick shower and went to my closet. I don't care about how I look so I just grabbed a pair of grey sweats, a black t-shirt and a black hoodie.

I grabbed my phone and keys and my Lakers snap-back.

I skipped breakfast because I didn't feel like eating. I didn't think I could stomach anything anyway.

I got into my car and drove to school, not bothering to turn the radio on. After I parked I turned the engine off and was about to get out when the passenger door opened and my best friend jumped in.

"Hey Jess. What's up?" Oh shit. She looks mad.

"What the hell happened to you this weekend? Why haven't you answered my calls and why do you look like you just walked out of a horror movie?"

"Wow, Jess. Real nice."

"Well?"

"We're going to be late for class but I promise we'll talk about this at lunch."

"It's about her isn't it?" Jess is the only one who knows I like girls. She also knows I like someone but I haven't told her who.

"Um, yeah" I'm getting nervous.

"Spill. Now."

"But we have class." I really don't want to have this conversation now.

"I don't care. I'm not leaving until you tell me." Might as well tell her.

"Um. Well we kinda kissed, but..."

"YOU WHAT?!?!?! OMG DETAILS!!!"

"It was Friday afternoon at the mall. But what I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted, is that she didn't like it... or I don't think she did. I don't know. She regretted right after and walked away."

"I'm sorry hun. Maybe she just got scared.."

"I don't think so. She asked me to kiss her, so she knew what she was doing."

"Maybe she realized she likes you."

"I don't know or care. Come on, we're late."

I barely made it through the day. Jess had to drag me to all my classes and I spent lunch hiding out in the gym dribbling a ball and getting lost in thought.

After school I didn't really feel like doing anything so I decided to go home. I lit a cigarette as my friends were trying to convince me to go shopping with them. Thankfully Jess saved me.

"She can't. Her mom wants her home now. She has to do something." I mouthed a thank you and hopped into my car.

Tina, Lizzie, Mel and Ashley came my way. Tina blocked the door just as I was about to close it. The girls looked worried while Lizzie avoided eye contact.

"What's up with you? We noticed you look kinda down today."

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"I don't believe that for a second."

"We'll talk about this later ok? I really have to go." She eyed me suspiciously then let go of my door slowly.

"You better call me later." I nodded and closed the door, turning the key and starting the engine.

I got home about 20 minutes later and locked myself in my room. I haven't checked my phone in three days. I turned it on and saw 5 missed calls from Jess, and about 25 texts asking me where I was, a missed call from Tina and a bunch of texts from a few friends. One caught my eye. A text from Lizzie saying that we needed to talk. This was from Saturday night. Now I know why she was avoiding me at school. I texted her back apologizing and asking if she still wanted to talk.

S: Sorry. My phone was off. Just saw your text. Still wanna talk?

After about five minutes of waiting anxiously she answered.

L: yeah. Meet me at our spot in the park in 30.

I hope she doesn't hate me. I'd rather have her as a friend then nothing at all.