"it's not even worth to cry for" she said holdin tears back .
She goes down the stairs, kiss her mum, drinks a cup of water, and goes out of the house saying nothing not even a goodbye to her mother, cause she knows tears are hardly stopped from falling and if she spoke a single word she'll let them out, so she didn't.
she goes on those streets she walks everyday to get to school, but it isn't just a small distance for her, it's just a long long road, full of bad thoughts and ideas, full of thinking, full of hating, full of breaking down, of thinking of MEMORIES, memories? well i mean reasons that broke her more, it's like thinking of them tears her apart, how she was and how she is, who she was and who she is, what she had and what she has, who was she with, and the fact that she's with no one now, what she ment to some people, and how she turned out to be nothig for them, it's like things ended but memories never died, so amnesia was all she realy wanted to wake up with .
she gets to the school, enters to her classroom and takes her place , the last table on class, where no one could see her when she gets away with her thoughts, when his memory comes in flashbacks and echos, while she plays back everthing they've been through, the happy moments they had. She had never think that looking back on laughs would make her cry until he became a memory, a sweet momery for her that she cries over everynight.She thinks about the "know" that became "knew", she thinks about the love that turned out to be a lie, a lie that made her feel alive, then killed her, a lie that lift her up, then teared her down, a lie that built her then breaked her. She never realy wanted to believe the truth...cause she was happy while she wa sliving that lie, now?...well let us say at least he is happy.
the reason that got her deeper into this was actually him. cuz he tried to help her, cuz he tried to get her out of this, then he left her in the middle of the road. he wasn't true to her, but he helped her, he was there for her, even his heart was for another, he lied, she doesnt know why or how but he was there and he helped. But all she knows is that he couldn't stay with her, he left. But at least she sees him when she falls asleep, and all she wishes after thinking of all this is that her heart would stop all of this and just keeps pumping blood so her arms could bleed so.
class? she never realy knew the right meaning of, cause all she've done through it was thinking about him, thinking about "The Love" she thought he gave her, about the lies he toled her, about the sweet words that warmed her, the lies she believed, everything that made her smile back there, is making the life getting out of her now, all the things he toled her while he didn't mean them, he's saying them truly for the girl he loves now, while she ain't even a memory for him, she thinks about the day they first met, the day she first saw his eyes, what a beautiful shining dark hopeful eyes that she wished she could look at for the rest of her life, the day she first saw his smile, a smile that lighted her after darkness, she remebers how happy she was that day, the day she felt alive for the first time since like ever, the day she'll never forget, the day that ment alot to her,while it was just another day for him,and yeah the fact that he means the world for her while she is just a past for him is what kills her the most, but that's okay cause she wouldn't choose her self either.
but she realy never forgot about him, neither about his everything, nor everything they shared, so she'll be standing waiting for his boat on the airport.
