𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰. | 𝐥𝐮𝐤𝐚 𝐱 𝐚𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧.

Chapter 5 | I'm Just Not Ready...

Adrien's P.O.V

2 months later

We're sitting on my couch. My father is on a 3 week business trip. Luka has his arm around me and I pick up another piece of popcorn.

Ever since the day we became boyfriends, watching Merlin together has been our thing. We're on season 3 now, and it's getting interesting.

A lot has changed in 2 months. Me and Luka are so much closer, and we tell each other everything. We've kept no secrets. I told Luka that I was Chat Noir, and I showed him my transformation. From that day on, he started calling me Kitty. It's really annoying.

He told me his celebrity crush is John Cena. But honestly, John Cena ain't got nothing on this fine face.

We're never awkward around each other anymore, and we tell each other all our problems. I told him that I used to crush on Ladybug.

He's everything to me. Luka pauses the show.

"Kitty?" Luka asks.

"Yes?"

"When are you gonna, you know, come out?" he asks nervously.

"Come out? I mean, I don't plan to— I don't think— I don't know," I say, "but there's no rush, right?"

"Yeah..." he says. I can tell he's disappointed.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I just— Never mind," he cuts himself off.

"No, tell me. Come on, we always tell each other everything," I say.

"It's just... I wanna be able to go out with you, to hold your hand in public and hug you outside whenever I feel like it, but you..." he trails off.

"I do too, it's just that, if I come out, Paris will go crazy. Never mind the fact that I'm dating someone. I'm just not ready," I tell him.

"When will you be ready?" asks Luka, poorly concealed irritation in his voice.

"I don't know Luka. I don't know," I tell him.

"You've been saying that for 2 months, Kitty. 2 months."

"You can't rush me, Luka! I need to figure some things out first," I say.

"What are you so afraid of?" he asks.

"Luka, you're being selfish. I'm not ready yet!" I protest

He stands up.

"Call me when you are," he says and walks out.

I immediately stand up to follow him but he's out of my house in 15 seconds flat.

"Wait Luka! Please." I'm panting.

"Kitty, I think we need to take a break," he says, not looking at me as he says it.

I'm shattered. A break?

"I... I—"

"You need some space to figure out what you want," he says, "and I'm giving it to you."

And with that, he's gone. And the worst thing is, I don't stop him.

How did this go from 0 – 100 that fast? One minute we were watching Merlin, and now we're taking a break?

I realise that Luka must've been thinking about it for a while. This isn't a new issue. It's been bothering Luka, and I've been too blind to notice it. Some boyfriend I am.

I go back inside and put my head in my hands. I don't want to loose Luka. But I'm not ready to come out.

Call me what you want, but I can't do it. Coming out isn't the same for me. Coming out doesn't mean telling my family and friends that I'm bi.

It means telling all of Paris that I'm bi. I'm a model! My life practically isn't mine. I'm just not ready for that kind of buzz. If I came out, Paris would be on my back for months. It's not the same.

It's not the same. It's not the same! Why can't Luka understand that?

Deep down, I understand where Luka is coming from. I'm just too conceited to admit that I'm probably in the wrong.

***

The next day is a Monday, and I'm so not ready for it. The break Luka has proposed we take has shattered me.

Even my photographer has realized that something is wrong. He's told me we're not doing another photo shoot until I put myself together.

I need to glue all these broken pieces together before someone realizes that the masterpiece has been destroyed.

But (and here we go)... I miss him. There. I said it. With every fibre of my being, I miss him. So, so much.

But at the same time, I can't face him. I had an anxiety attack yesterday. Life without him makes me anxious.

I know he said we were taking a break, but it feels like half of me is missing.

Lots of his stuff is still at my house: his spare toothbrush, his spare pyjamas, his spare hoodie, his spare everything. It's the same with my stuff at his house.

We practically live with each other.

I dress up after my shower before having breakfast.

Even Nathalie knows something is off, because she doesn't nag at me for once.

I get in the car and am silent throughout the ride to school. I turn to Nathalie.

"I don't want to go," I say childishly. Because I can't run from my problems.

But I can avoid them until they are inevitable. Which is exactly what I plan to do.

"Why?" Nathalie asks.

"I don't feel well," I lament.

Nathalie doesn't buy it. She shakes her head.

"Whatever is bothering you, you need to sort shit out," she says.

The look on my face says it all. Nathalie never cusses. She knows it's serious.

And before I know it, we're at school.
Worst luck.

A/N: I told you that there you would be tea ☕☕

But my lovlies, the water hasn't even finished boiling yet.

I realized that Luka wants to be open about their relationship, and Adrien genuinely isn't ready for that.

Why he isn't, you won't know for another chapter probably.

But all I can say is, it's gonna take more than an argument to ruin my otp.

Like, come on. I'm not evil xx