Why? -Poem

Why is it
That I feel
Both nothing ,
And everything ,
Very strongly ,
At the same
Time?

Is it normal
To be like
This?
I feared
That you would answer
With that glare
In your eyes.

I'm not normal
Am I?
I've come
To realise this.
So dear mother ,
Won't you let
me cry
For all the pain
I've felt?

And even, would you
Let me
Dissappear from this
Life?
Of course not.
Because the puppeteers
Will always
Need their puppet.
And they are
Everywhere
I go.

You don't have to
Pretend anymore.
It's not like
You would miss me
When I leave.
I know
I disgust you.
So just
Free me from
The endless torture
My mind
Puts me through.

One bullet.
One jump.
One cut.
That's all it takes.
One more hit.
One more bruise.
One more slap.
That's all it takes.

Why is it
That I feel
Both nothing ,
And everything ,
Very strongly ,
At the
Same
Time.
.