Our Perfect Family

Introduction

Ever since I could remember things were seemingly good, I had everything I'd every needed. I was always in my best clothes, best shoes, I had everything. Everything except freedom to do as I please...
Not only did I remember that I was pretty well off, but I had also remembered the many ugly fights, the abuse, the crying, the SCREAMING! I'd remembered every last bit of mum crying on the floor, with bruises and her hands cupped to her face. I cried too. Never had I known just how bad things were, she had said it would be okay, we would be okay. It was normal. I believed her. At the time I knew I was too young to really have my say in the fact that mum was getting harshly beaten and yelled at for her "mistakes" that if she wasn't so stupid that maybe she wouldn't get hit so much by father. That in some way it was justified that she was black, blue, and sore. "She deserves it!" My father would shout. Making a chaos through the halls, as the maids all were hidden somewhere behind doors. Sometimes I'd look at father and tilt my head in amazement as if he was the best thing in my whole entire life. He would catch me looking and knelt down to me. "Shelly" He would Calmly say. "Why don't you head off to bed my dear, little lady should not be up at these hours" as my father would say these words, I'd see his eyes sharply move across to the left side of him...clearly piercing the soul of one of the helpers. My personal caregiver, I'd guess you could say. She scrambled herself together so quickly after just one slight glance from him. Her name was Noel. My only true friend, family, and one who made me realize. Nothing was normal.
  Noel walked up to me and took my hand gently. "Come on Shelly, lets get you a bath ready my love and then get you ready for bed. Yes?" I'd look to her and nod in agreement as I had held my stuffed bunny so tightly against me in my other hand. Father smiled at me as Noel and I silently walked off to the wash room, I still wondering what would become of the night, what would become of mother...? The worry heavily on my mind, yet not knowing well enough how severe the situation or how I could've helped it at all either.
I sat on the edge on the tub wrapping my arms around my bunny as Noel started my bath. She was most lovely, pale...as a ghost, rosy red lips and beautiful long ginger hair with freckles that made her gleam so beautiful like. I've only explained it much more in detail now, but at the very young age of 4 I'd just blurt to her. "you're pretty!" She'd giggle and tell me I was of the most silliest little girl. As she would help me with taking my clothes off and helping me in the bath. I could hear my mother's scream. My eyes open wide...and I'm guessing Noel had noticed, for she had started to sing to me, and old lovely tune that sounded as if it came straight out of Mary Poppins. "Noel" I'd say. Still hearing my mother scream and cry, followed by my fathers yelling. "Yes Shelly what is it?" For a moment I'd had stayed silent. Not moving as she still ran her fingers through my hair washing it throughly. "Why do mother and father fight so much?" I slowly turned to her and stared straight into her eyes. For she was silent too, for what seemed like forever of her not speaking. She said. "Don't worry about those things, everything will clear up my dear! Just worry about what new dress you will get next" she continued to wash my hair as I turned back slightly and muttered. "Oh"
That night as Noel tucked me in and started to read me a book. "Winnie The Pooh" I felt a coldness. I couldn't get over the screams, yells, crying, and sound of glass being thrown. In fact, it is all that I could really concentrate on...Not even Noel's voice of her reading to me could pull me away from just how toxic my parents really were, and how of what was to come next of their toxicity shaped me, my future, my mental stability.