Finding Solace

XVII

She didn't know how she was supposed to feel about last night. She felt very indifferent about her interaction with the all too kind man that was Maverick. She didn't know if she should feel guilty or gratitude for his actions, if she was taking advantage of him or if he just acted this way out of instinct.

Not much happened the night before, which lead her to more internal conflict, should she be disappointed or relieved. Although she had a very limited time around boy or men her own age, she had no doubt that he was a handsome man, kind on top of that.

As he said he was, there was already a small pot of water on the stove, heating up. He was considerate enough not to use the kettle, only to have it scream and whistle, waking up the entire house. He prepared the tea as she washed the dirt from her hands and feet, tidying up the hallway from her path of soil.

She noticed that his hands were calloused as he passed her mug, as sign of his hard work. She held back a shiver and she felt her face heat up from the small encounter. She had never felt this feeling, a warm, bubbly feeling that started from the pit of her stomach. She didn't know if she liked it or was concerned by it.

They didn't talk much, their topics were far from anything deep. Her small answers always got a warm smile in return, actually interested in her responses. They mostly sat in silence, enjoying their tea and the sounds of the night.

She then returned to her room, thankful that he didn't follow behind her. She now hated the feeling of people lurking behind her, out of her sight and able to take advantage of her vulnerability, her blind side. He wished her a goodnight, which she whispered back, the words still swimming and repeating themselves in her head.

That next morning, she slept in later than what she expected, pushing mid-day. The boys would have been in the house by now, but they'd be in the fields, slowly moving the cattle to a different pasture, careful they don't lose any stragglers. This left the house empty, surprising her that there was no sign of Mrs. Sawyer.

Out of curiously, she checked the back porch, thinking she much just be enjoying a cup of coffee outside, like she usually did, but to no avail. Her chair was empty along with no others signs that may suggest she was there. She was alone but she didn't really feel alone, which for the first time, didn't unnerve her, didn't make her feel isolated.

A glance around the yard showed that the mess I had made last night had been cleaned up, the pile of weeds gone. A small smile appeared on my face, my heart warmed at the thought I was having. Maverick had opted to stay up longer and while I went to bed, he cleaned up my mess for me. The smile slowly fell from my face and I shook my head. I'm delusional. All he did was clean up a mess, if he was even the one who did indeed clean it up.

I stepped off the porch, and began working, more prepared this time, having picked up a roll of heavy duty garbage bags that I found in the kitchen. The ground was still damp with few but then longer the sun was out, the hotter it will get. The yard was looking nice but it was no where near perfect and I didn't want to look last, only having done half.

As I worked, the beat down on my, sweat rolling down my neck, my hair sticking to my skin. I was uncomfortable and overheating but I didn't stop. I was determined to finish what I had started.

I had easily been out here working for hours, the weeds having been thicker and stronger, more resistant. I may have not enjoyed every minute of my time spent out here but it was satisfying when I was done, looking across my work. I was tired, sweaty and dirty but it was worth it.

I brushed off as much dirt from my body as I could and removed my shoes before entering the house. The air conditioned, cool air hit her heated skin and she shivered, basking in the coldness that soothed her sun burnt skin.  She noted the house was empty as she maneuvered through it, wondering where Mrs. Sawyer could possible be.

She took a longer shower than usual, allowing the cool water to absorb the heat from her skin and to rinse the dirt from her body. She was careful to scrub every part of her body with soap, having heard of poison ivy and wasn't too willing to get it.

When she had gotten out of the shower, she cringed at her clothes selection. She had been wearing her same few pairs of jeans for past couple weeks, without wash, and they needed one. She sighed and opted for a pair of leggings and a random, faded shirt she had acquired from somewhere. At least she would be comfortable for the few remaining ours of the day. As she went downstairs to grab something to eat, the counters were covered with a few plastic shopping bags and she noticed that the stove was on.

"Oh there you are! I haven't seen you all day." Mrs, Sawyer said after she shut the front door and reappeared in the kitchen.

"Do you need any help with those."

"That would be lovely. I just need them taken out of the bags, you can leave the stuff on the counter if you don't mind." Mrs. Sawyer began to put a frozen pizza in the oven while I had unpacked various snacks. It was the first time she had seen a non home cooked meal in the house.
"I'm sorry if I left you alone in here all day. The store is a few hours away and I didn't want to wake you."

"That okay, I kept myself busy." I said as I lifted a gallon of paint off the counter. "Where do would you like me to put this?"

"Oh, by the front door. I've been meaning to repaint the doors for a while." I did as she asked and she asked and returned back the the room, watching as she placed all the plastic bags in a container in the pantry.

"Are you excited for girls night?"

"Oh, if I'm being completely honest, I forgot about that." I said as I looked at my attire. Her old life consisted of skimpy dresses, heels and makeup if they were doing a 'girls night'.

"Oh that's alright, it's nothing much. Usually it's just Tawny, her little sister Anne and I. We just eat snacks and watch romance movies that boys never want us to." She laughed and I smiled along with her.