Jotakak McDonald's love story

Please don't beat me up this is a joke 🤠

It was a sweaty and disgusting day in Egypt. The gang was riding in Joseph's new car, looking for a place to stop and get a bite to eat before going to sleep for the night at some inn. The two smelly teens of the group were in the backseat, jotaro was covered in his signature rancid smell, which was a sickening combo of axe and the fumes released from a seventeen year old boy who refused to take off his black school jacket, even in heat over 100 degrees Fahrenheit. Kakyoin smelled just as bad, minus the axe. Polnareff, who smelled the worst in the whole group was sitting crouched in the trunk because he deserved it and he sucks. It was punishment for smelling like spoiled milk and moldy boogers all of the time. (French people never bathe) Joseph drove, and Abdul rode shotgun with iggy on his lap.
"Hey kakyoin," said jotaro curiously, "What are you drawing there?" Kakyoin  sometimes doodled things on whatever paper he had available in the car.
"Oh, it's nothing. Don't worry about it." He said as menacingly as he could. Kakyoin did not want jotaro to see the extremely detailed sonic x shadow porn which he had been skillfully drawing for the past hour. He tried to turn his notepad away from jotaro, but his friend quickly yanked the paper away from him. Jotaro's monstrously thick eyebrows quickly rose as soon as he saw the detailed penetration that sonic was experiencing. Kakyoin began sweating.
"Listen, I'm sorry. I told you not to look, I know it's really gross it's just my art style-" he began quickly.
"Kakyoin stop." Said jotaro, interjecting. It's really good, I like it." 
Kakyoin blushed.
"Th-thanks jojo." He said.
Joseph and Abdul didn't understand what the fuck they were talking about, and honestly nobody gave two shits about what kakyoin drew in his crappy hotel notepad. Polnareff was running out of air in the trunk, and they'd already accidentally killed plenty of civilians. They didn't need another body to hide, so Joseph made the quick decision to go to McDonald's for everyone.
They all ordered Big Macs, except for polnareff who is actually 5, and then sat down in two booths to eat their greasy food with their greasy sausage fingers. Polnareff fed iggy french fries under the table. Abdul slapped him in the face and told him to finish his happy meal 5 piece chicken nugget or he would burn him to death. Then Joseph began a conversation with everyone about how his erectile dysfunction was making him sad.
Meanwhile, jotaro and kakyoin spoke amongst themselves.
"God, I wish your grandfather would stop talking about his dysfunctional peepee" said kakyoin exasperatedly.
"Me too," said jotaro "but I'm pretty much desensitized to it at this point." Kakyoin uncomfortably sipped his ungodly mixture of Gatorade, monster, and Mountain Dew. He was extremely nervous about what he was about to say next, that he may regret saying something so impulsive, but at this point he felt he should experience some things like this. He had dropped everything and went on this trip on impulse, and he succeeded in finally making some genuine friends for once. So maybe making another decision on impulse wouldn't be so regretful after all.
"Hey jotaro...?" He suddenly asked. "You liked my drawings, you said? Are you..."
"Hm?" Said jotaro, kind of confused and entirely baked. He'd smoked in the bathroom before eating, and to him, kakyoin was attractive, pink haired, and definitely upside down.
"I'm curious," kakyoin said. "Could you possibly pose for me at some point on this trip? I struggle with anatomy sometimes, and I could use the help." He turned red, and sweated a lot, making him smell even worse. (Making it clear, they all smell horrible.)
"B-basically, I need nudes!" He suddenly blurted out. He then went on an at least two minute spiel about male anatomy etc.  Jotaro was silent for a while, and so was everyone else, who pretended they didn't hear that because they all hate gay people so much it's unreal.
"Tenmei." He said monotonously. "Shut the fuck up. I will give you nudes. It is okay." Jotaro honestly had nothing to lose. He didn't care what kakyoin planned to do with his nudes. If his friend needed drawing reference, or was even attracted to him in some way, jotaro legiterately did not not mind one bit. The weed definitely helped, plus, nothing was gay if you had a school uniform on. That's why he never took his coat off. And in turn why he used so much axe.
Jotaro reached across the McDonald's table and curled his meaty fingers under kakyoin's chin.
"J-jojo,, I- 🥺" said kakyoin, before they began snogging in the middle of an Egyptian McDonald's at 12am. Abdul screamed loudly and Joseph OHMYGODDED as he tried to hold his friend back from killing his grandson and his grandson's friend. Iggy took a shit on the floor and then jumped up to begin ripping out polnareff's horrid flat top. They would've been kicked out, but honestly the staff had seen so many cursed things like this, they didn't even care. Last Tuesday they all saw DIO and vanilla ice fuck on one of those tables.
Kakyoin was fucking reroing the cherry from his McFlurry in jojo's mouth by the time they left.
"Right in front of my French fries." Muttered Abdul angrily as they got back into the car. They found a hotel somewhere and kakyoin got his jotaro nudes. They watched sumo and then went to bed.
The end :)
Note: I know I haven't written anything in a while but I'm trying to write at least one crack fic per year. About this particular one: please focus on the fact that this is a joke, as always, and be respectful of everyone regardless of if they ship this or not. Anyway, have a happy new year everyone!