Love Me Badly

mixed emotions | five

Texts, calls, FaceTime requests, Snaps.

This is what Kelliana had been doing to try and get Dean back.

Yet, he still ignored her.

She barely saw him at school because it felt like he was avoiding her in the halls. Just one glance at each other and then he would turn the other way.

She misses him so much that it hurts. She will always love him even if he hurts her. To others, it may seem like she was weak and just a sucker for hopeless love. But to her, Dean would always have her heart no matter what. He was her best friend, her love and the boy that she had dreamed of.

She owes it to him for helping her through her tough times when her father passed away. If it wasn't for him, especially, she wouldn't know if she would still be here today.

I can't lose him.

________________

Kelliana waits by the door of the boy's locker room, knowing that the football team had just finished their practice and are inside.

She swallows her pride and allows herself to be exposed to him and everyone he knows. She put her front down and allows her feelings to come out.

She can hear the bickering and loud guffaws of the boys from behind the locker room door.

She waited.

What's taking so long?

Finally, the boys began to exit out of the locker room, some eyeing her and others whistling at her as they walk by. Others had the courtesy to say hello to her but she just gave them an awkward, tight-lipped smile.

"Yo Dean, your ex is here", Kace yells out into the locker room as he comes out, winking at Kelliana along the way.

Dean, being the last one out, walks out of the locker room and sees Kelliana. He sighs as he closes the door and throws his towel over his shoulder.

"Kelliana, it's been over a week since we broke up-"

"Six days."

He sighs and rubs his hand on his face. Kelliana notices how worn out he looks, his face seeming to mature more from the last time she's seen him properly upfront.

"Why can't you just... give up?"

"Because I love you too much", Kelliana professed, her hands going to reach for his but he quickly moved it away from her touch, as if it would sting him. That move pained her, like a shot through the heart.

He gathered up the courage to look her straight in the eyes.

Hazel meets olive.

"Well, I don't. I may have loved you, once upon a time when I was lonely and unmotivated, but now. Now I have to face the facts. And you do too, Kelliana", he emphasized his words. "I've moved on. So should you."

He looked over her shoulder and began to walk away from her, leaving the conversation once again. But Kelliana wasn't going to give up that easy. She can't.

She turns him around forcefully and pushes him on the chest, his stunned expression staring back at her.

"Why are you doing this to me? To us? We've been together for so fucking long yet you want to give all that up now?", she yells at him.

"Kelliana, calm down, please-"

"Don't you dare", she warned him, her eyes glaring back at him. "Don't you dare tell me to calm down."