Godmother Death

Once upon a time, a mother, who already had 12 children, lay with a midwife on the 12th month of the year in labor with her 13th child. Her husband had left ahead of the frost to look for work weeks before and had not returned. As she laid in bloody anguish she cursed the child before it even drew its first breath.

The midwife told her it was a fine looking girl, but the mother refused to hold the babe.

"But mum! The poor thing will starve if you don-na feed it!"

"Then she will only know the comfort of death! Send the little angel back, for there is no peace in this place!"

The door opened with a freezing gush of wind, a tall figure in a dark cloak walked in.

"Is that my husband?"

"I fear not madame."

"Who are you?"

"I am Death."

"Have you come for me, at last?" The woman hoped.

"No. I will be the child's Godmother. I may render all equal, but I will promise to bring Fame and Fortune to the child."

"That's a start I suppose. Fine. Have the crying beastie."

"Not now. I will come for her when it is time."

The midwife was very confused for she heard the woman's voice, but not the other part of the conversation she was having with the wind.

But the child lived, and grew. When she came of age Death came and took her to the woods, showing her a herb of azure hue.

"Now child, you shall receive my gift for you. With my help you shall be a famous doctor. If I stand-"

"Why do you hide under that cloak? Are you gross looking? You sound pretty. Did I mention I'm in the heat of puberty?"

"Focus! You will be the most famous and rich doctor in the world but you must heed my words!"

"Fine! I just think about girls all day."

"Whenever you are called to a sick person I will appear to you. If I stand at the sick person's head, you may say with confidence that you can make them well again; then give him some of this herb, and they will recover. But if I stand at the sick person's feet, they is mine, and you must say that they are beyond help, and that no physician in the world could save them. But beware of using this herb against my will, or something very bad will befall to you."

"I heard there are these harem things in India. Is it true those girls dance without their aprons on?"

"Did you hear me girl?!"

"Yes! If you give them head they get happy! A foodjob means they die! Got it! Geez! I could rub myself against a tree right now!"

"If only the hands of Time could have aligned better."

"Is time a girl?"

Godmother Death set the blonde up in a small house, but word spread quickly of the doctor will flawless predictions, and she gained wealth and fame. She bought many houses to see her many patients and many female friends.

It came to pass, as it often does, that a queen fell ill, and the famed physician was called upon. Standing at the foot of the bed was her Godmother. A peak of pale jaw peeking out from her shroud.

The queen was lovely even in the grips of illness. With no partner or child to take her place the whole land held its breath waiting on the doctor's word. If only I could fool Death once! She'll be furious, I know, but I'm her only god-daughter! And look at me! I'm amazing! She'll have to forgive me! I wonder if I can buy her something from the fortune I would get for healing the queen. Shoes? Does she have feet? Hmm, I still want to get under that robe.