Polyamorous

Talking Emotions

Standing in front of the mirror it take a moment for (Y/n) to notice the figure leaning on the door frame. She smiles at Bucky in all his intimating glorying.

"Hey, babe. everything alright?"

At first he doesn't respond and just looks her up and down but then he goes to turn on the shower and starts to strip. "Get in the shower"

"I just got out" he steps forward and pulls of her towel letting it drop to the floor and leave her in the nude.

"Get back in" With a shrug she does as he asks and steps back into the shower he quickly followed.

At first she's worried what he wants is sex and she wasn't ready for go back to that, yet. As he pulls her into a passionate kiss she moaned as she felt his tongue slip into her mouth tasting her but also searching for dominates. But as his grip on her hips become tighter placed him hands on her hips she's prepares herself to say something and stop him from going any further but he doesn't instead wrapping his arms around her waist and pulls her into his chest. And nothing happens beyond that. They just stand together holding each other under the warm water of the shower saying nothing.

(Y/n) felt back for thing we was going to do something else, she felt made for not think about him, she felt about for failing him, she felt bad for just about everything. She began to sob in his chest he didn't ask or say anything. He just held her.
-

Steve sighed with relief as he stepped on to his floor. Due to being distracted and having his mind elsewhere it took him way longer to finish his paperwork and then he went back and had to correct some of the stuff he wrote. He was in the office all day he was very happy to be back. But a little bit sad to see no one waiting to greet him.

Walking towards their shared bed room he can hear their soft whispers and a bit of laughter. It was something he had missed in the past few days. Peaking into the room he sees (Y/n) and Bucky in bed laying down together just talking.

"Knock, knock" he says stepping in "You two seem cozy"

"Yes, a nice shower and a good cry out does that to you. " (Y/n) said

"Also being naked" Bucky added

" yes, and being naked." he chuckled a bit as he kicked off his shoes he undresses and joins they in bed. He gives then both a kiss before settling under the blankets.

"So what are we talking about?"

"... I forgot. your good looks made me lose my train of thought." (Y/n) said flicking his nose.

"okay, what should we talk about?"

"I want to say something" Bucky says as he sits up leaning against the head board "Um ... I'm angry. Hydra stole something for me and I don't know when or why they took it. I want it back now. I want kids, I want that future, I want us to have a baby. But we can't because they stole it and that makes me angry but it makes me more angry knowing that I don't really know what else that took from me. I'm angry and I can't handle it and I've been taking it out on all the recruits." he says looking down at his hands " By the way Natasha has suspended me for doing hand to hand combat with the recruits. Apparently I'm emotionally unstable."

Steve laughed a bit as he sits up against the headboard and gives him a kiss. " We're going to find them and we're going to end them. I won't let them steal anything else from you, neither of you. I will protect the both of you" He leans down any gives (y/n) a kiss too.

" I guess I should share next since I'm being so vocal now" Steve said tickling (y/n) a bit before getting all serious. " I've been thinking about my talk with the Dr. Tsunade about the future possibility of having children and what we're feeling now and how many times we might have to feel this again if we were to go an try to have a kid and it doesn't work out. My hearts broken and I don't like this feeling and I know neither of you like it either. I don't want to feel this again. And I have this thought of maybe we shouldn't but then I see that future with kids and I like it and want it but then I wonder how many time will our hearts break before we get there."

"As many times as it has to if we really want it. It should be worth it in the end. It will be worth it in the end because they will be ours." (Y/n) says as she reaches up placing her hand on his cheek.

"I'm sorry we have to go through with this. I'm sorry I don't have a working womb. I'm sorry our hearts are breaking. I'm sorry. I'm just so sorry. I wish I could fix it. Turn back time and make sure it never happened but I can't. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry".

It wasn't until then that (y/n) realized how selfish and self-centered she was being. She hadn't even noticed that Steve and Bucky were hurting too to busying crying for herself. She wasn't the only one who lost something.

"your turn" Bucky said but she shook her head. "no, I've seen that you've been out of it lately too. So lets talk about it. I know you have more to say"

"um.... I'm feel terrible because I'm the one that brought up children and I'm the one to convinces the both of you to have one with me. And here I am I can't even carry children I can't have any. I guess I feel bad for giving you hope."

"awe (y/n)-"

"It's suppose to be date, marry, then children. I can't give you kids. I'm so sorry. " As she began to cry Bucky pull her up into his lap and hugged her stroking her hair trying to sooth her.

" Hey look at me, please look at me." Steve said " A child or not we still love you. I was hoping for children way before you brought it up I just never knew how to bring it up and with the job we had, plus we just got married I thought we'd put it off for a while. But I'm happy we did it now. I'm happy we found this out now. Because now we can work through this and get better. It's not all on you (Y/n)."

"How about we focus on something else besides children." Bucky offered still rubbing soft circles on her back.

"Like what" she asked her voice a bit rough.

"How about we start looking for a house." Bucky and (Y/n) looked at Steve very surprised " We can't live in the tower forever, Bucky wants a dog Tony definitely won't let a dog in the tower, and Tony has been thinking about moving the base out of the city. "

"Wait what?"

"You didn't here it from me but Tony bought and old military base upstate and he's been think about turning that Base into the new Avenger Compound... I heard him talking with Pepper. We could find a place not to far from the new compound or better yet build one."

"Wow" (y/n) laughed a bit putting her head on Bucky's shoulder as she looked at Steve " You've, you've definitely thought about this"

"Actually no " he said "I just came up with it. Just because there's no children around doesn't mean we have to stop looking for our Happy Ever afar. Let's go looking for our castle" (Y/n) gasped as he leaned in and stole a kiss from her.

He was right even though they didn't have children right now and probably wouldn't for a long time that didn't mean they had to stop living life and building their future. Of course, they still had more to talk about and they still needed time to heal and get over this but they'd move on and continue on to a future Hydra couldn't touch. They were going to be okay.

"I like this we should do this more often naked , naked therapy." Bucky said as he gave her back side a small smack she giggled.

"sign me up" Steve said pinching her.

"Hands, feet and objects to yourself" (Y/n) teased as she jumped out of bed she slipped on a pair of short tights and one of their large shirts. " Now you can continue playing with yourself or come make dinner with me.