Shikadai x Ryogi fanfiction

I'm sorry, but it's better this way

Evening

Shikadai was walking towards their meeting place. That was the day he decided to talk about his feelings.

He didn't expect to be so stressed out. It started squeezing him in the stomach because of the fear of rejection.

-Calm down-Shikadai said to himself

The evening was exceptionally warm today. As the boy walked past the ninja academy, all the memories came back. He couldn't believe it's been six years since he graduated from this school. He remembered all the things they did in this place. Everybody's changed since then. They were more mature and became strong shinobi.

Ah. . . Adulthood is annoying-Shikadai said with a smile

When he arrived at the scene of their meeting, he noticed his friend sitting on the bench

-Finally, I thought you'd forgotten what you wanted to tell me - Ryogi said with a mocking smile.

-Sorry I'm late, I hope the princess hasn't been waiting for me a long time - Shikadai was teasing.

-No, I came a few minutes ago.. What did you want to tell me?-Ryogi asked

Yeah. Shikadai forgot why he wanted to meet Ryogi, he was supposed to tell him how I felt about him. His heart started to beat faster. He was getting ready for four years, he couldn't fuck it up now. Shikadai was wondering for a moment what to say. He's never been in a relationship so he didn't see what such a confession of love looks like.

Right, he watched romantic movies with his mom sometimes, but usually the confessions in them were embarrassing. He didn't want this moment to be over-sweet or embarrassing.

-Uh. . . I. . . I. . . I wanted to tell you...uh...-Shikadai didn't see what to say.

-You look stressed out. . . Are you all right? If you don't want to, you don't have to say-Ryougi said

He looked like he was really worried about his friend. 

-No, I. . . I want - Shikadai to take a breath.

Millions of doubts have now gone through his head, but he didn't have time to think about the consequences of what he was going to say. He's decided to tell him how he feel, so he can't run away now.

Listen to me . . . I don't know how to say this- Shikadai started.

What I'm going to say now may seem strange to you. If you want, you can break off contact with me, but I think you have a right to know-Shikadai said

    Ryogi looked at him with curiosity.

-When I'm with you, I feel different. I feel incredibly happy. I can't stop thinking about you and I'm always looking forward to meeting you.-Shikadai said with his eyes closed

You must think it's strange. I thought so too.,,Boy with boy ? it's not normal.'' I kept telling myself that, but over time, I stopped thinking.I just accepted it. I wanted to meet you today to tell you this straight to your face. 

I love you-Shikadai finished talking, opened his eyes and waited for his friend to react.

Ryogi stood before him with his eyes wide open. He looked like he didn't see what to say to his friend's confession.

Shikadai felt he was not well. It was pathetic, just like all romantic movies. Ryogi probably thinks he's a pervert now.Now he'll lose his best friend, just out of his own stupidity.

Ryogi looked at the ground. He looked sad. But why? it was the shikadai who screwed up. black-haired boy didn't understand anything anymore.

I love you too - After a while, Ryogi said very quietly

Shikadai couldn't believe what he heard. Suddenly all the stress is gone and all that's left is joy. 

Unfortunately, not for long.

But we can't be together. I'm sorry. - Ryogi said a quick 

Now shikadai really didn't see what to do. It didn't make sense. If they both feel the same way, why can't they be together? Is it because he and Ryogi are boys? or maybe is his friend ashamed to go out with him? The boy didn't understand anything.

-W-Why? -Those were the only words Shikadai could say

-Eh. . . you really didn't notice that? - There was a sad smile on the pink hairy boy's face.

You think this relationship would have people's support?

You-you are running for the position of advisor to Hokage, a member of the main branch of the Nara clan, came a great shinobi who has a chance to be quickly promoted to a higher rank, and I- a person who was in prison, a former thief who works in a bar. Do you think people would like a relationship like this?-Ryougi said in a serious tone

-I don't care what people think. They can think what they want. You've changed and all I need to know is that. -Shikadai answered without hesitation.

He realized he sounded embarrassing , but it was true.he's spent too much time trying to accept that he loves his friend to give himself up now.

-You still think it's a good idea? People will stop trusting you. Your dream of being an adviser will not come true because people will not want a person who has a romantic relationship with a criminal to take part in governing the village.-Ryogi said firmly

Even if you were to come to power in any way, people would be dissatisfied. There will be people who will want to force you to resign. Your family would be in danger.

What Ryogi said was true. 

Shikadai knew that, but he still didn't want to give up his love.

-No one. . . No one needs to know that we are together-Shikadai said in the hope that Ryogi will admit he's right.

-You're right. No one needs to know. But what happens if this comes out by chance? You'll become a liar. You know...we can keep it a secret, but your friends? Family? Are you sure they won't tell anyone by accident? Or maybe you want to hide the relationship from them ?- Ryogi asked with contempt in his eyes

I. . . not-Shikadai has admitted

Shikadai didn't know how to answer. He didn't see how to convince Ryogi. He didn't know anything

See? This relationship would have more negative than positive effects. It's hard for me too. You're the closest person to me. I love you but I know we can't be together. I'm sorry- Ryogi answered in pain.

But. . . -Shikadai tried to say something but Ryogi immediately interrupted him

There is no ,,but''.You must think like an adult.

Instead of feelings, you should focus on the future. You won't have a future with me.. I'm sorry it had to end like this. You've fallen in love with the wrong Shikadai person. Sorry, but it's better this way. Farewell-After these words Ryogi turned around and left Shikadai alone.

Shikadai was left alone. The light of the street lamp shone on his face. Tears were running down his cheeks. He hadn't cried in a long time, but now he felt great pain. He felt like junk.

What Ryogi said is true.A painful truth.