Wanderer

55 - Of Sea and Stars

**Elbereth in the far right. I went through some pictures of her, and this one struck me most.**

Earendil

Manwe had given to us a beautiful house in the deserted city. He'd explained that the Valar had once lived in their Citadel, but had one by one longed for the presence of Eru and had swum through the Edge of Dreams into Eru's country. Only he and Varda remained.

"I have called them through the boundaries of this world." Manwe said. "They will come."

I settled into the beautiful old building, sank down into the luxurious bed and looked out the window into the Valinor. I could see the ocean.

"You just can't get away from it," said Elwing beside me.

"It reminds me of Gondolin. Before it fell." I said.

"Try to sleep well." Elwing said. "We're done. You can sleep now, remember?"

I smiled. "I remember."

But I couldn't. I tossed and turned, told myself that I must not have been that tired, and finally sat up. All was utterly quiet, except for the ocean lapping quietly at the marble wharf just outside the back door. Must have been a sea-loving Vala here.

Somehow, it always came back to the sea.

I got up and dressed. A few quick steps took me outside, and within minutes, I was sitting on the edge of the wharf  with my feet in the water. The water's color was different, and it was warmer than I ever remembered, but it still called my name.

"Earendil." Suddenly, Varda was there. Her long hair whipped around her. "Come away with me."

I stood. We walked away, through the silent streets. I left a trail of wet footprints. Then the Citadel ended and we were walking through the long grass.

"This is my favorite place of all," Varda said. 

We were at the highest point on the island, where the stars seemed so close I felt I could touch them. Varda looked upwards, so I did too. I tried to identify the constellations, but I didn't recognize any of the stars.

"How did you see us? Can you see all that goes on?" I asked.

"Everything is illuminated." she said seriously. "I saw your light."

"Still?" I considered her. 

Varda nodded, then sank down to the grass. She transferred her gaze back to me. "You are still illuminated, even now. Do you wish to stay here, Earendil?"

I thought about living here with only Elwing and a son or daughter. In a world with such beauty that it was painful to look at. Where the ocean was clear and crystal and warm and there. 

It didn't fit at all.

"No." I said.

"What about at the Havens, with Alaytar and with your kind?" Varda's gaze was probing. "This choice may be more relevant than you think. Consider it. When you are home, you long for the sea, and when you are at sea, you long for the destination. Will you ever be happy, Earendil?"

I couldn't answer. I found my gaze drawn upwards. I searched the heavens, trying to make head or tails of the unfamiliar constellations. I turned back to her to ask her where I would thrive best, Havens, or here, but she was gone.

I didn't go back to the sea that night.