Your Secret Is Showing

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Luiz had messaged me that day and asked when I was going to 'make my statement' and announce to the world that I was dating Oli, and while it was in the back of my mind, I really hadn't thought about it very much. I guess I was more focused on actually being with Oli, the tour and everything going on around me. Luiz insisted I do it soon because apparently people were asking for comment about whether we were in a relationship... that 'our secret was showing'. He was so dramatic. He told me that a lot of people had jumped to conclusions after noticing us together in London, staying at the same hotel... people had also seen Oli at the lingerie show and were connecting the dots because we were both now posting photos from Asia too. We hadn't posted photos of each other or tagged each other or anything though so it amazed me that anyone would even care enough to notice, but I guess that is literally the tabloids' job. I guess the past couple of weeks had put me more in the spotlight too, and people suddenly wanted to know about my life. Oli and I's relationship wasn't exactly being kept under wraps very well, but I didn't try that hard to hide it. Neither of us had ever confirmed or denied that we were together though and we'd planned on doing it while in Asia to avoid any crazy paparazzi in England or America. I didn't want to take the spotlight away from Oli though; I wanted to focus on the tour, on his career, and to support and encourage him the way he always did me. The last night of the tour was actually the perfect time to make the announcement though... Neither of us wanted to use the other for popularity or fame, so doing it while we were both on a break from our respective jobs seemed like the perfect time.

As we travelled back to the hotel after Oli's final show, I asked the guys if they had any photos of Oli and I from the trip; nothing too cheesy, but something that clearly let the world know that we were together and Jordan came back to me with a picture that I thought was perfect. It was from our first night in Tokyo, when we were walking around hand in hand. Oli had his overloaded shopping bag and I was laughing at him as he stuck his tongue out at the camera. I showed the photo to Oli and he approved, so I posted it to my Instagram with no caption, just a single love heart that confirmed to the world everything it needed to know; that Oli Sykes had my heart.

 I showed the photo to Oli and he approved, so I posted it to my Instagram with no caption, just a single love heart that confirmed to the world everything it needed to know; that Oli Sykes had my heart

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Our days in Japan together were so wonderful... the entire band stayed on after the tour to celebrate Oli's birthday, and with some help from Luiz and the guys, I came up with a pretty amazing surprise for him. We had already done dinner at a restaurant where you're served by robots, but there was another one where you watch a show while you eat. It was like a full production with seating around the floor, arena-style, huge mechanical robots, pyrotechnics, lasers, dancers and all kinds of wacky things. I knew he would love it. Everyone came along and Oli lost his mind over everything while we ate tempura and sushi. He had no idea what was coming though and I hoped he would love it. Luiz had worked his magic, as always, and had organised for me to be part of the show, so I snuck off toward the end, claiming I was going to get drinks. Instead I went backstage, got into this cute robot girl costume and wig and prepared myself to go out of the stage. The last part of the show was the pièce de résistance; a gigantic, mechanical dinosaur that blew fire from it's mouth and I knew Oli would just about pee his pants in excitement over that thing! I watched from behind the curtain and I could actually see Oli, his phone out taking photos of the thing, and the biggest, most goofiest smile on his face. I fucking loved him and seeing him looking that happy made my heart melt.

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