The Deal - A Christmas Story

Christmas Eve

A little late for the holidays, but here you go.

.

.

.

Tori paced frantically up and down. It was Christmas Eve.

They'd lived together for almost a year, but this would be their first Christmas together. She'd decorated the tiny apartment, planned the food, hung the lights. She'd even flocked the tree. And herself, and quite a lot of the walls and furniture, much to Jade's amusement.

Almost a year. Long enough for her to get used to Jade's little foibles and peculiarities, likes and dislikes, her obsessive tidiness in certain areas, her blindness to chaos in others, her moods swings and occasional reckless generosity. Long enough to get to know her in a way she hadn't when they'd started dating.

And long enough for Jade to get used to hers, too. Tori wasn't much given to introspection, and it wasn't until their first real row - a blazing, humdinger of a row, that started over nothing and escalated into Armageddon - that she'd realized the bubble she'd lived in at home, that sharing a life with someone meant equal terms, equal responsibilities. It took work. 'You're not my mom!' Tori had yelled at her, as the argument had entered its final phase.

Jade had looked at her coldly. "No," she'd said. "I'm not."

It took her a few seconds to understand the implication of that. Jade wasn't her mom, she could walk out any time she liked, and for a moment it seemed like she might.

But she hadn't. They'd stood, silent and exhausted in the aftermath, surrounded by debris, like the sole survivors of an earthquake. Finally, Jade had held out her arms in reconciliation, and Tori had fallen into them, thankfully, and they'd talked long into the night.

Things were better after that, much better. A lot of Jade's anger had come from trying to be in control, and as soon as she accepted that she didn't always have to be, she began to relax. The dynamic that had brought them together was still there, but moderated, tempered by the knowledge that they were no longer forced together as they had been at school, and they risked losing each other if they went too far.

Almost a year. But was it long enough for this? Was it too soon? More frantic pacing. What if she was wrong? What if Jade had spent all this time teetering on the edge of abandoning her, and this pushed her over? What if she just mocked her? What if she looked horrified? What if... Oh man, I need to pee.

She came out of the bathroom and picked up the small parcel under the tree. Maybe she could change it. Was it too late to change it? Of course it was, it's Christmas Eve, you dunce. Maybe she could get something else. Where would be open at this time of night? There was a gas station on the corner. She could get Jade... an air-freshener. That was it. The perfect gift. She could get Jade an air-freshener, and she could hang it in the car, and every time they went for a drive they'd laugh and hug and remember that magical Christmas when Tori had bought the woman she loved an air-freshener.

The door opened. "Hey," Jade said, flinging her bag onto the table. Tori jumped, and shoved the parcel behind her back.

"Hi," she said, in a voice so high that only dogs could hear it. She cleared her throat. "I mean, hi. How was your shift?"

"Like being dragged backwards through an idiot bush. How about you?"

"Good. All good."

"Right. Well, I guess we should..." There was something about Tori's guilty expression that seemed a little suspicious. She folded her arms. "Okay. What is it?"

"What's what?"

"Whatever you're trying not to say."

"Nothing."