BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY

I am

"even a bird has a freedom to fly

You cage it and it cries

How much more would not so virgin

A nation desire to rise freely

My most beloved Philippines

Nest of my tears and sufferings

My purpose is to see you so much free."

            This is a story of a girl, left by her parents only at the age of four, knowing nothing at all, didn't have any chance to even step at the gate of  school.  Doing only what her masters want her to do for accepting her as part of the house. In return, to eat , to drink, to rest and to enjoy her life will be hers.

            Not that simple, of course every reward will cost too much pain and it is not very easy to do. Seven men with seven heartless, careless, loveless activities, motivated this young girl  to be brave, brave enough to survive them all, LITERALLY. Could she stay like this forever? Could she be able to escape when she knows everything she has comes from what breaks her heart? Is there another chance to change everything?

           

Part  one

(pain with no cure)

Chloe's  P.O.V.

            Twelve noon, the sun spots directly to my face though the leaves and the flowers of Acacia tree cover me, I still want shield. The temperature is forty-five degree  Celsius  and it's very hot but I still feel coldness in my body. Coated with white jacket  embroidered  flowers are on its sleeves yet still feeling that I want some protection. I am still inside my shell those days and nights of embarrassments , the whole body of mine was naked and I don't know if I can do such thing again. I remember how I hardly brought myself in a situation where nobody would dare to enter, never forget how hard trying I lost my whole self in order to survive. I was crying then since when my parents left me. I wonder where they are today, should I still care for them?

 I asked the mirror in my hand as if the face of a virgin Cinderella would come out as my reflection.  Do you believe that I am still a virgin just like Maria Clara? I laughed. My tears suddenly fell down to my cheeks. Living in isolated seven rooms with seven men every night, would you dare believe that I am still  virgin? 

The wind whispers in my ears but I don't know what it means, the river is growling but I don't understand what the growling is all about,  the birds are singing but I don't get the meaning of their song.  A deep breath I think would be enough to strengthen myself. The memories flashed back in my mind , when my mother taught me, to be strong is to take a  deep breath , close your eyes, inhale, exhale , and when I opened it, they're gone. People said my parents are psychologically disordered, I don't believe in them but sometimes they have a point,  are they really what others think of them? Are you thinking that I am like them also? Well, they say if this is the tree it should not bare any other fruit. So, is there a chance I will be like them? Am I  already like them?