Unnoficial excerpt of my story idea Unbreakable

Unofficial excerpt of my story to be

Just a heads up, I'm typing on my phone and I have no clue how to do an indent, so nothing here is indented. Sorry, I'll try to fix it some other time...anywho, I'm going to share an unofficial excerpt from the story I'm writing. Actually, this was a narrative assignment I did for a class, but after giving it a bit of thought, I decided that I might include this into the story. The story was originally going to be called Broken, but that title sounded a bit too overused. Plus, I wanted the title to be about the main character and not the other characters, so I thought that Unbreakable would be a good title. You're probably thinking, 'okay, I get it, now show me the excerpt!' Okay, I know I talk a lot, so I'll stop now and let you read the excerpt. Please leave questions or give suggestions. Thanks! Here's the excerpt:
I woke up in a dark room dimly lit with rays of light coming from the moon outside of the window. I squinted and blinked a few times as I began to remember where I was. I was at Jack’s house lying in a warm and comfortable bed. Last night, Jack and I were having a contest to see who could stay awake the longest. Apparently he won. I didn’t remember Jack falling asleep. I looked out the window on the right side of the dark brown oak bed frame. It’s still dark outside, the moon a bright, round circle with yellow twinkling stars scattered in the sky. I glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand on the right side of the bed. The glowing red numbers read 2:27. I then focused my attention to the spot on the floor across from me where I remembered Jack had settled down to sleep. The blanket was scrunched up in a pile on the wooden floor and the pillow was wrinkled in the middle where his head used to be. His absence lead me to wonder where he had gone off to so early in the morning. Suddenly I felt the urge to go and find him. I quietly slid off of the bed, and as soon as I did, the cold air consumed me. I shivered, wanting to return to the warmth of the bed, but the urge to satisfy my curiosity was stronger. I rubbed my eyes, still groggy from sleep. I slowly walked towards the doorway, stepping on the floorboards as lightly as I could as to not make noise. I didn't want to wake the others. 
As I approached the doorway, I began to hear hushed voices seeming to come from downstairs. How many voices, however, I couldn’t tell. Who else could have been awake besides Jack, and what could they have possibly been talking about so early in the morning? Jack must’ve not wanted anyone else to hear that conversation if he’s having it that early without telling anyone. Especially without telling me. I paused at the doorway to hesitate, wondering whether I should eavesdrop in on the conversation or return to the safety and comfort of the bed. My habit of constantly worrying for others caused my mind to take me back to the time when Jack was telling me about demons and the deals that he and the others occasionally make. I remembered him saying that nothing good ever comes out of those deals and that whatever reason you're making the deal for, it isn't worth it. I began to worry that the conversation going on downstairs could have possibly been one of those deals. My heart rate accelerated as I feared the worst; I might have been too late. I tried to hurry to the source of the whispering voices without being detected so that I didn’t get caught. If my assumption was correct and one of the voices coming from downstairs belonged to a demon, then getting caught was the last thing I wanted to do. I really didn’t feel like dying. I cringed each time a floorboard creaked underneath one of my feet, but the whispering didn’t stop, as if they heard nor suspected anything. What would Jack be willing to sacrifice for his end of the deal? His freedom? His life? Or maybe...his soul? 
The mere thought of Jack trapped, suffering for eternity just for a stupid deal made me feel nauseous. I shook my head, trying to force myself to focus on keeping quiet. I put most of my weight on the railing so that the stairs didn’t creak so loudly underneath me. Navigating my way downstairs was a bit difficult since it was so dark. The only light source was the moon and one dim light coming from the living room. Thankfully, the railing was capable of supporting my weight. I quietly heaved a sigh of relief when I successfully make it downstairs unnoticed. I continued to follow the voices which grew in volume with every step closer I got. Trying to breathe silently became difficult. He’s probably just watching television, that's what those voices must be, I told myself so I could calm down a bit. Unfortunately, it didn’t work and I didn’t calm down. I tried to move carefully as to not make any noise. I even tried holding my breath, which didn’t last very long as I began to get lightheaded. Soon enough, I was in the room right next to the one that the voices were coming from. They’re in the living room, the only room with a light on, and the door has been left wide open. I took careful, tiny steps until I was right next to the doorway. I put my back up against the wall, my right side facing the doorway to the living room. My breathing got shaky and my body would’ve been shaking too, if I wasn’t so tense. I shut my eyes and listened to the conversation. I heard two different voices, but I only recognized one of them.
“If it means that the others will be safe for sure, then yes. Cost doesn’t matter to me, ” said a familiar voice. 
That voice belonged to a boy I know. That voice belonged to Jack. He wasn’t okay. His voice trembled, as if each word took up every ounce of his effort to speak. Without thinking, I clenched my fists and bit my lip so hard that I thought I tasted blood, though I couldn’t tell for sure as I wasn’t thinking clearly. Who was he talking to? What in the world was he doing? What was he talking about? What did he mean by ‘others’? Was he referring to Keo, Adara, Kaylus and me? I’ll have to listen to find out.
Another voice spoke, one that was unfamiliar, which said, “Perfect. You’re doing the right thing. Ever since the jail-break in Hell was dealt with, the king has been awaiting your arrival. Everyone in Hell has, my Lord.”
My eye lids flew open with surprise, and I clenched my jaw so that I wouldn’t gasp. ‘My Lord’? Lord of what? I felt the color drain from my face as I began to understand what the man meant. 
“Lord? What do you―oh...oh,” Jack said in a grim tone, barely audible.
“As I was saying, your end of the deal will be to come with me to Hell so that you can meet the king and be next in line to rule. If you agree, your friends―”
“Family,” Jack interrupted coldly.
“―Er, yes, family― will be able to live the rest of their lives, not to be pestered by any and every supernatural being that exists. I have a pen right here so you can sign the contract. So my Lord, do you agree?” said the man in a dark and serious tone.
The man’s voice sent a chill down my spine. Jack hesitated to answer. He won’t say yes...will he? I don’t think that I’d be able to handle what horrible fate awaits Jack if he did say yes. I pressed my right hand over my mouth hard as I stared blankly at the wooden floorboards. Don’t say yes, I thought. With my other hand, I gripped the side of my pants, something Jack would do when he got nervous. For your own sake, Jack, please don’t say yes. I felt a bead of sweat roll down my forehead. That can’t be a demon. Demons aren’t quite that...sophisticated. I exhaled shakily. What could he be? Whatever he is, hopefully it’s not anything worse than a demon.
“...I―,” Jack started.
I eagerly shifted my weight to my right side towards the doorway to hear better. The tiny movement made a floorboard creak quite loudly underneath my right foot. I silently gasped, quickly shifted back and clamped my other hand over my mouth so that both hands were covering it. More beads of sweat dripped down my face as I hoped and prayed to God that I wasn’t heard. I winced when I heard the sound of the bottom of a chair scraping against a wooden floor. Holding my breath to stifle the whimpering sound I made, I then pressed my back up against the wall and forced myself to not move a muscle. The air surrounding me felt hot, although it was cold only minutes ago. It must be because I'm scared. I squeezed my eyes shut and I struggled to think of a way out of this situation. Panic made thinking very difficult. What would happen to me if the man―or whatever he is―found me? What would happen to Jack?
“My Lord, is there anyone else awake besides us?” asked the man.
“Not that I know of,” Jack responded with a hint of panic in his voice.
I heard another chair scoot on the floor. It must’ve been the one Jack was sitting on. I heard footsteps approach me and I saw a shadow against the wall where the light shone from the living room area. The shadow was tall, a shape of someone that does not live in this house. That shadow must've belonged to the man that Jack was conversing with. The man's shadow stopped after taking a few steps. I almost forgot how to breathe. 
“Are you sure my lord?”
“Yes, I’m pretty sure,” Jack said.
My heart rate accelerated even more than before to the point where I heard throbbing in my ears. I even felt the blood pumping in my veins throughout my whole body. I remained frozen in place staring at the backs of my eyelids―which weren’t much darker than the room I was in―as I waited for the worst. Seconds passed, although to me it felt like a lifetime of waiting. No one said a word. It was so quiet that even my shallow breathing seemed to be too loud. I continued to wait and the man continued to listen. The throbbing that I heard in my ears grew even louder, which seemed impossible, as it was already so loud that it was difficult to focus on the conversation between Jack and the man. However, I still continued to wait. 
Finally, the man sighed, impatient. “Well, do you agree, my Lord?”
I exhaled slowly, feeling the greatest relief of my life. My whole body untensed and I fell back against the wall making a clearly audible thud. My eyes grew wide and I tensed up again, silently scolding myself for being so stupid. I bit my lip again and tried to think of a situation where I actually survive this night.