When My Heart Became His

Chapter One ~ Desper

"Let the world burn through you. Throw the prism light, white hot, on paper."
                 -Ray Bradbury

        "Listen, we'll call it even if you go ask out Astrid Michelson."

        When embarking on romantic endeavors, there are usually a few things you want to avoid. First, everyone knows that you want to tend to stay within your circle. Sure, there are beautiful stories in which, against the odds, two lovers from opposite ends of the high school spectrum end up breaking the stereotypes and causing a reform in the way their school thinks, but that doesn't happen in real life very often. You end up in your circle most often because of who you are, the things you do, the activities you enjoy. Mingling in other circles usually leaves you stranded and wanting. There are those who argue that opposites attract, but usually only to a certain extent. Too opposite and you usually end up simply repelling each other even further away. Secondly, know your boundaries. You know, even if you're not that aware of the opposite sex, you know at least one or two people who would straight up reject you, whether in a kind, "you're like a brother to me" type of way or full out female spider trying to bite your head off (and before you think I'm some sort of science fanatic going around listing off facts about spiders at random, I'll have you know that when I was little, my science teacher told us that little fact thinking it would be fun, but it caused me to think for about a year that my future girlfriend would try to eat my head. My father about choked when I told him I was considering marrying a boy so my wife wouldn't eat me. Thankfully, he set me straight – both literally and figuratively). Don't go knocking where you know you're not welcome; you just end up looking like a fool without an ounce of dignity about you, especially if you continue to ask after you've already gotten shot down. Thirdly, unless you've got some trick up your sleeve or an extreme amount of confidence, you don't usually want to ask out a girl who could potentially beat you in a fight, whether verbal, mystical, or physical. Once again, it would be at a risk of losing your pride and maybe your manhood, depending on the girl.

        Unfortunately, asking out Astrid would have broken all three of these rules. I was considered a prep, popular for my position, demeanor, and looks, but certainly not a jock or king of the court. She was somewhere in between Celeste Richards and her entourage, the artsy group, and the female jocks, popular in the sense that she could it into any of these circles if she desired and often was seen going out with the jocks, but had an extraordinarily sharp wit and didn't seem to care what people thought of her, unafraid to share her opinion. She had low tolerance if you were doing something she deemed stupid, as I'd learned from a few friends who had been brave enough to ask her out themselves. Because of all this, there was no way she would say yes to a guy like me. We'd barely ever spoken to each other, but she had a fiery personality, and there were few she'd said yes to and many that had supposedly been bested by her in the process. Although I'd probably only spoken to her a few brief times, I knew from some of my T.A. work that she had top marks in multiple classes and her psychological and elemental spell work was phenomenal, which were all things worth mentioning, achievements of worth. And even someone who might never have seen Astrid before would have heard about the time Fred Jackson had made the demeaning comment that no girl could hit him hard enough to even make him flinch. The story had been dramatized and details had been added to it as it had gone around, to the point where I heard one particular version where she had rained down hail from the sky on him, which probably wasn't true. The common story, however, and probably the most accurate retell, is that after Fred had made the comment, she'd spun around and slapped him hard enough to leave a welt across his left cheek. He'd responded by trying to pin her to the ground, his reputation no doubt feeling enormously threatened. She had supposedly held her own until they heard a teacher rounding the corner and had been forced to break apart for fear of earning detentions and possibly even suspensions. But the rumor had spread nonetheless from those lucky enough to witness it firsthand. Even now, I had subconsciously looked her way from across the room due to my thoughts concerning her, and after a moment, she noticed my stare and fixed me with an intense stare of her own that contained more than a little animosity, as if she had sensed that we were talking about her and wanted no more of it.