Viraha

Cwtch

"A loving hug that becomes a safe place, the place where we really feel at home, in the arms of the beloved" - From Wales

— Happy birthday, Demir - I said arranging the candle on top of the little cake — Don't worry, I made with almonds milk! — I smiled, brushing away the hair the wind insisted on throwing at my face.

— Oh Demir, you would be crazy if you saw the mess that was home — I said laughing and shaking hands — I wanted you to see — I completed with a sigh feeling tears fill my eyes.

— Oh Selin, oh! You promised don't  cry, at least not in front of the...

— Mama! — Her little scream interrupted me and I automatically turned back me to his sound.

And my world has stopped. As always happened.

 She was running, her light brown hair, like his own, loose flying around her head, the dress she had chosen for Dad's birthday swinging back and forth.

—Stop running! You will fall! I turned my gaze to the voice that came a few feet behind her, screaming.

My little protective man! Ah Demir, he looks so much like you. Your hair, your eyes, your smile. Even the look and the authoritarian way look you.

— Mom, you didn't eat the cake, did you? — She asked with her childlike voice, extending my arms so that I help her to sit beside me.

—  Of course not! I was waiting for you —I assured her, brushing her hair off her face.

— Do you have to stop running, want to fall and go to the hospital again? —  Asked my little boy as he approached, handing me the flower he had brought as a gift, and already extending his arms to put him sitting next to his sister.

The sight was breathtaking.

— Mom, do you think Daddy will like these flowers? Uncle Vedat said yes — He asked worriedly.

But of course he will, Peter — I assured him with a smile and looked at the flowers he had brought. The same flowers I had given Demir once, the same ones that I water every morning

— And where's uncle Vedat? —I asked looking around.

— He said he'll comelater... — My little girl answered, distracted — Mom, he'll like the shell, right? I never brought seashells to Daddy — She stared at the object in his hands.

— Dad will love the gift, Wendy — I promised, kissing her hair and looking up at the sky to keep the tears from forming.

— Great — She smiled and turned around. — Daddy, I wanted to bring a bigger shell, but they are too far away, and Peter didn't let me go hidden — She began to tell his stories, as she always did. —He's so boring sometimes — He lowered his voice secretly, thinking we couldn't hear.

Peter looked at me and rolled his eyes. I returned her a smile and a wink in companionship, and he joined her in her story.

Ah Demir, I miss you so much ...

It seems went yesterday when I got home and found your room empty and that letter. I still feel the same chest pain and shortness of breath.

— Mom? No need to cry, Daddy doesn't like it — Wendy said taking me out of my reverie, looking at me worried.

— I'm not crying — I lied — It's just the wind." — smiled at her, wiping away the treacherous tears that really were there.

— So who wants to sing happy birthday to Dad?" —I asked getting up and fixing the candle on the cake once again.