Back At Your Door (Demi Lovato and Cher Lloyd)

The funeral

The church doors are closed when I finally arrive and it takes me another eight minutes to get a parking space in the crowded parking lot. The second I turned off the little blue Mini Cooper I rented at the airport. I have to force myself to actually get out. There is no downpour or windy rain like there are in most movies. But it seems like there should be. Taking a deep breath. I walk briskly and my heel gets caught in a crack in the ground. I gasp loudly and immediately spread my arms to steady myself before straightening myself out. I try to be more careful as to where I step on the uneven pavement and I am grateful when I hit the sidewalk again.

That is until I see the closed church doors again. I will have to walk through them and you know the moment I do that every head will be turned towards me. I could potentially ruin the ceremony. Not that it is a happy event anyways. Taking another deep breath. I fix my black dress before brushing my dark hair with my fingers quickly. I feel so nervous. Especially when the doors make that awful creaking noise I knew they would as I opened it. Just as I suspected. Heads turn to look at me as my heels clack on the floor. Echoing throughout the place. I should had brought my flats. They would had made less nosie.

I, however, barely pay attention to the whispering people and the disapproving looks. I looked straight ahead to the person I interrupted. It's his mother. Her eyes meet mine for the longest second of my life and I can see her heart break and lift at the same time. The second she continues speaking. I bow my head and go to the closest pew. Sitting down quickly. I try to ignore everyone as they go back to listening. Even though more than one person is trying to casually look back to see if it was really me. I brush my hair behind my ear. My eyes watering as I stare intensely at a bible that has been left on the pew.

After about ten minutes. I dared myself to look up. I almost break down when I see the coffins and I have to look away. The person beside me gives me a sympathetic look and puts a hand on my knee comfortingly as I shakily breathe in. Barely even feeling her touch. My blurry eyes look around the room and land on the first row. His mother had long ago sat back down and the priest was back to talking. So I find Denise easily. Her head filled with curly hair is sideways. Lying on top of her young grandson. From here, I can see they fit the little three-year-old in a snug looking suit with a white pressed shirt and a tiny bow tie. He looks handsome. His blonde hair spiked up with a bit of gel.

"Oh, my God." I let out in a breathy whisper. The hand on my knee pats it again. I blink and looked at it. Bringing my hands back up. I ran my hands harshly through my hair before looking back at the boy. His name is James but everyone calls him Jamie. "He's only three years old." I say, another tear going down my face. I know that my face is probably getting streaks of black mascara but I cannot help the downpour. I cannot even think of what I have lost. Jamie has lost so much more.

He lost both his parents.

"He'll be fine." The sweet elderly lady tells me as she puts her arms around me. Leaning into her touch. My eyes glide over to the person on the other side of the little boy. Another shaky breath. Another bout of tears. This is going to be so hard on that family. That precious little family that is so strong and impenetrable.

I finally just cannot stand looking at this sad church and I just close my eyes tightly. Putting my hand over my eyes. I try to retreat to another place. A place where my two best friends are still alive and with their little boy and not driving through a thunderstorm. Unfortunately, the mass ends and kills my fantasy pretty quickly. I am forced to open my eyes again and the bright lights blind me for a few seconds as everyone stands and turns to each other. I feel someone give me a hug and I try to force a smile before remembering I am at a funeral and I don't need to.

I quickly get out of the pew and stop at the doors to the church. Everyone is filing out. Ready to go to the cemetery to bury my two best friends. I get jerked around slightly as people push past me. My eyes are on the Lloyd family again. Watching little Jamie look up to his grandmother confused and Denise smile weakly at him. I finally make yourself look at him and I just sigh. His hair is longer and even from here. I can tell he looks defeated.

Someone bumps into me hard and I gasp as my purse gets knocked out of my hands. The person apologizes but doesn't stop to help me. Sighing and looking at my spilled contents. I bend down to retrieve them. My eyes going back to the family instinctively. My fingers freeze as they reach my tube of lipstick. I can feel tears rush so quickly to my eyes and I start shaking slightly.

I didn't mean to bring attention to myself. It was never about that. Coming here wasn't about that. But kneeling here in my favorite black dress he bought me last summer on a whim and with black tears rolling down my face. That's all I brought myself. Denise gives me a tightlipped smile and Jamie looks at me with even more confusion. Besides him is Jason who stares at me for a second before tears come rushing to his eyes too. He knows they were my best friends too. Jason closes his eyes for a couple seconds before looking away.

And Cher…well. Cher just stares at me.