I've Experienced It

Chapter Nine- Revealing

"Have a seat and please listen." is all Jackson said as they entered the condo. Camela sat down at the dining room table and watched as he went to his wing of the condo, she could hear him shuffling in this room but for what she didn't know and that had her terrified. Hearing his footsteps coming back she sat up straight. She watched as he placed a black box on the table in front of her and gestured her to open it. She hestiantly opened it, it was filled with pictures and a letter. Looking through the pictures her mouth ran dry, seeing a very pregnant Ashley and a very happy Jackson. It was pictures of him with his hand on her belly and smiling. Camela didn't know how to feel, did he have a child she didn't know about?

"I don't get it, what are you showing me this for?" Camela said looking up at him. "Keep looking" is all he replied with. Doing as told and kept looking and stopped at one, it was a photo of them in the hosiptal holding the baby, both of their eyes were swollen as they tried not to look sad. Camela's throat ran dry as she read "R.I.P mama" written at the bottom of the photo. By this time Jackson had already pulled a chair beside her and sat down. Camela was lost for words, she didn't know what to say. Picking up the letter, it read "To My First Child".

"Hey baby, it's your father. I know you didn't get the chance to meet me officially but I'm sure you're familiar with me. I spoke to you often when you were in your mommy's tummy and I'd always rub her belly. I remember first learning about you and how scared I was, I remember the first time I heard your heartbeat and all my fears disappeared. I loved you from that day on, I thought about your name and really was debating with myself hoping I have a girl and my prayers got answered when I found out that you were just what I wanted. I couldn't help but think how much I was gonna spoil you, your mommy was so happy to be carrying you. Every time you heard my voice you's start kicking and I would have to rub your mommy's tummy so you can keep still. The day you entered the world we were not prepared for. You wanted to meet us so bad that you came early, a little too early babygirl. You probably would've taken after me with that, no paitence. You took your first breath and peeked your eyes open. You laid on your mommy's chest for about 5 minutes and on mine was when you took your last breath. It broke my heart to see that, you were my everything and just didn't know it yet. I'm kind of happy that you didn't have to endure this cruel world, I know your with your grandma and she's taking good care of you. I love you until the end of me and I always will Ava."

Camela placed everything back into the box and closed it, both of them stayed silent for what felt like an hour. "Listen, I know this doesn't justify what I did. I fucked up and I'm wrong. I shouldn't have played with your emotions. I'm not perfect and I have demons I'm fighting. Seeing Ashley just brought up that part of my life I was trying to get over. After Ava died she told me that she needed space and moved away without a trace. Seeing her again just brought up unfinished business that I thought I was over. I got caught up and fucked up. I am so sorry and I mean that with all my heart, I ended things with her and I promise I'm never going down that road again. Just like you I'm also damaged and tired of being hurt but instead of being real with myself I ended up hurting you. I'm honestly falling for you Camela, seeing you walk away from me just brought back so many memories of people leaving my life I snapped. I'm sorry for lashing out the way I did at the parking lot. I didn't mean it, I really and truly didn't mean it." Jackson said holding Camela's hands in his and kissing them.

Camela honestly didn't know what to say or how to feel. Seeing him hurt and tearing up just made her feel guilty. Blowing out some air, "I just wanna lay down" is all she said as she got up and made her way to his room and lay down. Jackson knew everything was overwhemling but he had to tell someone. The only person that knew about Ava was Jesse. Ava just was someone they never spoke about.

*******

Stacey sat in Jesse's room really quiet after Jackson told them that Camela went to sleep. She didn't believe him so much to the point that he had to show her that Camela was asleep. She just couldn't stop thinking about her friend. Feeling a touch on her shoulder causing her to jump she looked up at Jesse. He gave her a reassuring smile and sat next to her.