Rock Bottom - Joshler

1

i would like to note that i won't be putting warnings at the start of chapters. this whole book will be extremely triggering, with themes of drug abuse, self harm, suicide, depression, anxiety, panic attacks and sickness. if you're triggered by anything relating to any of those topics, then i strongly advise that you do not read this story.

also, i mean no disrespect to any characters i use in this. i love literally all of the characters that represent someone in real life, even the antagonists. (also i changed all the siblings)

side note: i'm australian so some of my spelling might seem a little weird to americans (centre=center, colour=color, etc)

Josh was tired.

He hadn't slept at all the night before. Debby had come over, high as hell and with a purse full of edibles. Josh had been hoping for some coke- he hadn't met with his dealer all week, and the affects were starting to show in the form of migraines and fevers.

He was sitting in class, his new boots squeaking as his knees bounced uncontrollably. He was staring at the wall, lost in his own head but thinking of nothing. The teacher was speaking, but it was nothing worth learning. A public school education from the bad side of Chicago couldn't get someone far in life.

When Josh was little, he wanted to be be a vet. He loved animals, so working to heal them would be a dream come true. Kids like him didn't get happy endings, though, and especially not when they fucked up their lives as much as he already had. He was in a cycle that was destined to continue, and that was to grow up in a bad neighbourhood, drop out of school, accidentally get some poor girl pregnant, get hitched at city hall and badly raise a bunch of poor kids until he died at least thirty years younger than average. He was in no position to break that.

Josh suddenly lurched, his hand shooting up to cover his mouth as a wave of nausea hit him. He staggered out of the classroom, ignoring the momentary panic his sudden movement brought upon his peers and teacher. He made his way to a bathroom, not caring if it was a female or male one. He collapsed against a toilet and heaved up nothing but bile.

As Josh was leaning against the stall's wall, panting, he heard a giggle and froze. His shoulders relaxed, though, when the girl giggled again and he recognised her laugh.

Josh stood up slowly and stumbled in the direction of Debby's voice. She smiled when she saw him, and Josh noticed that there was a trace of dried blood around her nose. He grinned and practically fell beside her, barely noticing the other girl beside her.

"Got any left?"

Debby pulled out a small a bag of white powder. Josh reached for it, but she pulled it back and motioned to his pocket. Josh sighed and pulled out his near- empty wallet, fumbling through it. He had been fired from his job at Burger King a while ago, but he had some money left over that he had been saving.

He pulled out a crumbled $20 note and offered it to her. She raised her eyebrow, making him groan. He handed her his wallet and watched her pull out a few notes before handing it back.

She ruffled his hair. "You get a discount for being my friend."

Josh mumbled something indecipherable and grabbed the bag. He began spreading the coke over his gums, too exhausted to find something to snort it with. He let his head fall in Debby's lap and closed his eyes as she stroked his hair. She lit a joint with her other hand and handed it to Josh, who gratefully took a drag.

The girl that was sitting with Debby took a drag and stood up, passing it back to Josh. She grabbed her book bag and left without a word, probably to go to class.

The pair continued to silently pass the joint between themselves, experiencing their own seperate worlds. Whenever Josh felt any worries tug at his mind, he spread more cocaine over his gums and let it slowly wash away the tiresome normalcy of sobriety.

"Do you remember the first time you took coke?" Debby chuckled. "It was the best. I totally freaked out afterwards, though."

Josh frowned. He remembered the first time he tried it.

Josh didn't like the noise, but it was something he had gotten used to. He was always the centre of attention at Dave and Susie's parties- everyone loved to mess around with the kid. He usually just stayed in his room and tried to avoid everyone.

Dave and Susie weren't bad people, but their friends were. Josh's old mom had friends like that, but she kept them away from him. Dave and Susie didn't seem to notice when their friends found Josh.

Last time, they had given him a brownie. Josh was sure it was poisoned, because he felt sick for days afterwards. At the time, though, he felt great. Dave and Susie's friends seemed to find it funny when he ate it, so it must have been some kind of prank. Josh was good at pulling those.

This time, they gave him a rolled up $5 bill and told him he could have it if he used it to take something first. Josh agreed; he had been saving up for a deck of cards so he could learn a magic trick that his best friend, Brendon, had showed him.

He regretted it afterwards. It hurt and it made him think about bad things that he had tried to forget.

Josh exhaled shakily and sat up. His head spun and he gripped it tightly, breathing deeply. His heart was pounding in his ears and he could feel his whole body shaking.

"Josh?" Debby called, her voice filled with panic.

Debby stood up and took a step back, watching as Josh collapsed. She reached out when he began to seize, but stopped when she realised that calling for help would get her caught. She looked around and swallowed the guilt in her throat before taking the cosine and running out of the bathroom, trying to erase the image of her best friend seizing on the ground with foam dripping from his mouth.