Orphans Beloved… "Tis the Season (for Karoke)…"
Summary: Like my Immortal Beloved bits in my Buffyverse stories, these are fragments and short bits, some longer…Just to fiddle with ideas, possibly forming longer tales later.
Disclaimer: No copywrite infringement intended…
Note: The Kickass Hendrix perform "Tis the Season…"
(Tune of Dropkick Murphys' "The Season's Upon Us…")
Oscar Hendrix roaming Hendrix living room, video camera in hand…
Donnie Hendrix, holding beer mug…To camera:
"Tis the Season dysfunctional families hold dear…
My Ally's made eggnog (Ally waves to camera, holding ladle), there's brandy, there's beer…
We've reason to be merry, our woes currently done…
So lets get out those wreaths and see those lights hung…" (Ally bearing boxes, Gemma following, overloaded…As Donnie takes to recliner, waving…Both throwing boxes at him.)
Donnie, Gemma and Ally kissing him on each side…
"There's bells and there's holly, the kids are gung-ho…"
("Gemma!" Ally cries at Gemma diving for a present under tree. "Not till Christmas!")
"Renewing true love beneath fresh mistletoe…(Grabs and kisses a nervous, blushing but willing, Alison…)
"Some families are messed up while others are fine…
If you think yours is crazy, well you should see mine…" (Donnie points finger, camera turns to show Cosima, with O2 tank, Delphine, Sarah, Cal, Helena, Art all waving from sofa…
"My new sisters are wackjobs…
("Hey, do not call me this…" Helena, grinning…The others mock frowning…)
I wish you'd take some…
Their boyfriends are losers, I cringe for their sons…" (Groan from the boys, toss of beer can…
Gentlemen…Ally, grim look…)
"My niece's a clairvoyantly wise little twit..." (Eyes Kira on chair)
"She regenerates and her potential powers turn me to shit… (mock terrified look, Kira on chair, devilish smile…)
"One sister's a monster, we don't let her near here… (Ally holds up "Wanted: Rachel Duncan" poster)
Another's a nun who is good with a gun…(Comes to Helena, who offers mock blessing, then mock snarles and kisses him on cheek.)
One's a currently better dressing former punk rock ho… (Oh! Sarah, mock glare)
This cute one's a geek monkey…(Hugs Cosima on sofa)…She's queer you should know… ("Sorry, fellas…" Cos waves, "All mine!" Delphine hugs.)…
And my own dear wife's ready to golf club me, whoa no…" (grin to mock frowning Ally bearing golf club)
Donnie rising, sweep of arms...
"My brother crosses dresses my kids as you see… (Fee on rug with Gemma, placing hat, grin to camera…)
If you want a dysfunctional fam, come round to see…" (Sigh to camera)
Ally, swallowing glassful, taking mike…
"And then there's dear Oscar…And my Gemma my loves…
(Oh…Ally, shaking head…)
Anything but your sweet turtledoves…
He likes to pelt carolers with icy snowballs
I'd like to take him out back and deck more than the halls
With family like this I would have to confess
I may be better off boozing, distraught and depressed…" (No…Shakes head to worried Gemma…)
Ally and Donnie:
"Tis the season, thank God we're nearly done…
And our lovely Cosima's not missing a lung… (Cos gives thumbs up…)
There's lights on the trees and there's wreaths to be hung… "(Gentlemen…Ally offers wreaths to the boys…Donnie running for door…They drag him back.)
"There's mischief and mayhem and songs to be sung
This is the Hendrixes'... Xmas album…"
Ally rising:
"My mom likes to cook push our buttons and prod..."
Alison's mom frowning from kitchen...
Donnie joining her, both:
"My brother Fee stunned us by bringing a broad… (Antoinette by Fee waving to camera…Yeah, hi)
Neighbors rollin' whispers come in from the kitchen
We'd come by more often if they'd only quit bitchin'." (Donnie saluting her and clinking beer mug to her wine glass).
Donnie:
"My dad on the other hand's a selfish old sod
Drinks alone in our garage with his miserable dog
Who won't run off and fetch sure he couldn't care less…
(Shout…) "Donnie?! Garyowen, what is this bloody mess?" ("Uh, Dad, I asked you not to let the dog near the lump in the garage floor.")
Donnie, closing garage door...
"Tis the season, it's that time of year
Ally's brandy and eggnog, there's plenty of cheer
There's lights on the trees and there's clones all around…"
(Sestra wave...
Donnie, arch look to camera...)
"And some killers from Dyad who will never be found…("I did not hear that." Art calls.)
Ally and Donnie, Sarah, Helena. Cos and Delpy, Art and Cal:
"They call this Christmas where we're from!"
All at table, Ally and Donnie beaming:
"The table's set, we raise a toast
To the Duncans, Amelia, and our dead Bethie's ghost…"
(All raising glasses…)
"I'm not just one, not a few, so much family, is toast." –Helena, all beaming.
(Later, all stretched out on sofa or rug, exhausted…)
Ally, covered in discarded wrapping paper…Shaking head…
"I'm so glad this day only comes once a year…"
All:
"So Dyad, keep your opinions, your bribe presents, your phony happy new year…
We're all going on Oprah to make clonage clear…
So enjoy your holiday, drink your wassail…
Cause on January 1st...You're all goin' to jail!" All pointing at camera...
Ally, Donnie, Gemma, Oz:
"This is the Hendrix Christmas Album…
Yes, this is the Hendrix Christmas Album…"
