are mermaids only a myth?

when i dream of dying i like to think people would cry. part two.

AGAIN, THIS CHAPTER IS EXTREMELY TRIGGERING. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

my hand twitches. it's starting to tingle.

my toes, along with my feet, have already lost feeling. it's nice, even though for the past 2 years i've been trying to feel something.

"josephine? answer me." aviva gasps into the phone.

she's surrounded by voices and i know she has returned to class. also, more than likely, she has told someone to call for help.

that's okay. they won't make it in time to save me. no one has before.

"aviva, i just want to talk to you. you are the most beautiful and precious human being i have ever met. please do not fret over my passing. it may seem scary right now, but i know in a few days you'll be good as new."

she gasps, again. why is she gasping?

"i know i have never meant a lot to you and i have no idea why that bothers me so much. maybe it's because i cared for you way more than the amount you cared for me."

"that's a lie. i've always loved you as a friend." tears drip in her voice. she hasn't been gasping. no, just crying.

in the background i hear the teacher talk on the phone. is she talking to a police officer?

i also hear students making a commotion. startled. that's what they are.

"josephine, where are you? i need to know."

"a blue park."

"be more specific."

"it's by where we found those kids making a drug deal. you wore your favorite black sweater that day."

she whispers the information to someone. more conversations.

i'm so tired.

"are you still there? stay on the line, josephine."

"but i want to sleep. i'm exhausted."

"stay the fuck awake. do not close your eyes."

too late.

it feels like my eyelids are stuck to each other. i cannot open them. although, not like i'd want to. i'm so close to oblivion.

"i can't move. i can't feel my legs. soon i won't be able to think."

"stay on the line. help is coming."

she sounds calm. i know better. her tone reeks of impatience.

there's an itch on my nose. i try to lift my arm to scratch it. nothing moves.

that is when i taste the real impact of the situation. my limbs are immobile.

"aviva, i-i can't move. my nose is itch-y and i can't get it. p-please help. i'm scared." warmth runs down my cheeks. tears.

"oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. are they fucking there yet?! they need to hurry please!"

she cracks and breaks into sobs.

my heart does the same.

"i'm so fucking sorry. i never wanted you to feel this way. i'm a horrible person." i can't say anymore.

"please, hold on. help is almost there. you are not a bad person now stop fucking saying sorry!"

she deserves better than this. i can't believe i'm hurting her.

another epiphany.

"aviva, stop crying. shut the fuck up. i am going to be okay. i'll never see you again, but that's okay. sam is waiting for me. i think the reason i became accustomed to you is because he left. i latched on to you and i shouldn't have done that. i'm so sorry."

"joseph-"

wind blows snow into my ears. that's all it takes to finish the numbing process.

piercing police sirens are the last things i hear. so loud.

the rest of my strength is used to pry open my eyes and watch the last scenes play out before me.

blue, red, blue, red, blue, red.

bodies start to appear 100 feet away from me, near the street.

and, the final thing i see is, two police officers running towards my motionless body.

~

how was that for an ending?

sorry it's been so long. i've had basketball tryouts and moving and yeah i've been busy.

i will try my absolute hardest to update pill place. i have big ideas for that story.

peace, love, prosperity
x.j.s.x