The Footbridge

The boy

Henry was a 16-year-old boy.

He was certainly a hyperactive person, considering the fact that he has got ants in his pants. And he also had several mental disorders, although he has always rejected any alternative of treatment.

Anyway, he was just himself, and it would not be a bunch of pills that could take him off the rock bottom he was...

His mind worked in a tirelessly fast way, and Henry always had the best grades at school. Henry was a genius and a born leader, with an extreme facility of learning.

But as every genius, his mind was sick.

He came up with a powerful combo that completely drained his forces, as much physical as psychological, and this combo was shaped by an unbelievable mixed of: Depression, Anxiety disorder, Hyperactivity, Bipolar disorder and the famous Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

Henry was at the height of his academic and familiar life during his 12-year-old, because at 13 a chain of events turned the promising genius in a huddle of melancholy, pain, sadness and tears.

Since Henry was young he has never been worried about liking girls, or kissing them.

It never seemed a necessity to him, but he was getting more and more convinced that it was a needful thing. And his colleagues did not seem to help with it, as they have always pressed him to take the famous lip virginity away.

After a lot of questions, gossips and a little misunderstood, everyone came to a conclusion that made sense and seemed completely assertive.

They concluded that Henry could only be gay. After all, what other explanation might there be for it? Why the hell haven't Henry been interested about girls?

The truth? Henry was lost in his thoughts and in the rock bottom that he was about to fall.

Everybody started to ignore him; after all it did not matter how many times he would try to explain or defend himself, everyone have continued with the same conclusion, that Henry could only be gay.

This bothered a lot the 12-year-old boy, who didn't even know how to dress up to go out, but he has had to know if he was into girls or into boys.

After a lot of pressure, he concluded that he would go and talk to a guy and analyze if it could work make out with him.

Henry analyzed countless profiles on facebook, and spent hours choosing the perfect person to try something, until he saw a profile that got a lot of his attention.

It was Lucas, the popular, bisexual, handsome and lovely boy that everybody talked about it.

Henry have not wasted time and soon sent a friend request to the boy, who after minutes has already accepted. On that day Henry and the popular boy spent hours talking a bit of everything.

Their conversations were unconnected and confused, something to expect from a teenager who was now a 13-year-old boy (my apologies, forget to say this happening) talking with a 17-year-old guy (yeah, Lucas was 17).

One word leads to another, and soon they sent the first nude selfie, the first heart emoji and the famous three words that are so wished by teenagers in puberty...

"I love you", said the little Henry to Lucas, that immediately replied with "I love you too".

All of this seemed completely false and forced, as they were just virtual friends (although they lived in the same city) and they have been talking only a few days.

But believe, the feeling was real (that's right, I wrote in a past sentence cause, as you probably must imagine, some shit will happen).

Finally they have decided to go on a date, and give some attention to Lucas's "Action Jackson", "Cave hunter", "Clam digger", "Cock-a-saurus rex" (I will never understand this boy's thing of name their own sex organs).

The day finally came, and Henry did the stupid thing of forget his cellphone on his bed when he went at school.

Yes, his cellphone with the Google search history full of gay porn websites, without password, easy access to his fervent evangelical parents and members of assemblies of god.

Henry enjoyed his day at school, and as he was not with his cellphone, he did not know where and when to go to meet Lucas, therefore the date went out of the window.

And when he arrived at home...

His mother was with a disgusting and crying face in the dining room, waiting him for the lunch. His father was angry in the room and he preferred not even to show up...

Mrs. Letícia (Henry's mother) told to the son that she has found his cellphone on his bed, and snooped into it...

And the both went to the room to talk about it:

-Son, have you accessed these websites? – Asked the mother, showing the Google search history of her son on his cellphone.

-Yes. – Answered Henry, with his shaking voice and his heart beating faster than normal cause of the fear.

- You know what your father and I think about this aberration, don't you? – Asked the mother, and continued:

- Your father and I decided to take your cell phone away, and you are not going to talk with this "Lucas" anymore.

Henry blushed with shame, as he did not expect that his mother would discover the conversations he had with Lucas on messenger.

Actually, Letícia has discovered in another way...

Early on the same day, Lucas was afraid thinking that Henry would blow him off, so he resolved send several messages (provocative and indecent messages) to Henry, and it was on these messages that his mother resolved to snooped into the cell phone of the poor boy...

From that day, Henry was without access of any social Medias, his profile on facebook was deleted by his parents, he could not go to school alone anymore, as his parents have decided to drive he at school and at home every day, and no talks with Lucas almost one year...

Henry was taken to a psychologist, as his parents were searching for the famous "conversation therapy", and for one year Henry lied to pretend any type of progress with the "treatment".

Henry saw your mind turned on a vast broth of sensations, emotions and repressed feelings, familiar problems, the lack of social Medias and his group of friends that was formed by three people, have completely disappeared.

Henry was at this state of mind until his 15 years old, when he finally recovered his right of talk to people, hang out, and have a cell phone.

But he couldn't do the main thing that it was come out.

His colleagues were right, weren't they?

Henry liked boys, but now what was healed by the "conversation therapy", it would need to keep this mask.

Henry did not endure the pressure of so much restraint of him, and simply started drinking, mutilating himself, having sex with strangers, and refused the treatment put on by the psychiatrist.

In brief, Henry killed himself on December 19th, 2019 at his 16 years old.

I know, the start, the middle and the end of this story seems completely unrelated things.

But our lives are unrelated things, and all of we do and feel is based in confusing and complex concepts.

But the story doesn't finish with Henry's death, contrariwise it just starts with his suicide.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi guys, I am translating this amazing story of my friend on his own profile, it was wrote in portuguese and I decided to translate to english for more people can be able to read it. We (me and the writter) hope you enjoy it.
Translated by karlajaguar