I don't know if I'm ever going to make this public. Just to let you know I'm just venting. Like the things I'm feeling I'm just going to writing my thought and what not, instead of putting it in my notes. Knowing damn well I'm going to delete them later. Anyway, it's the start of the new year and I'm already fucking everything up. I just tried it for the first time. I remember when I was younger I would see people with the scars and they'd show it to me. I'd just think," omfg that looks so bad, why would they do that?" Like sis, I told my self I'd never do that. I did and right now it's just stinging. It doesn't hurt, it feels like my whole arm is room temp, but that little spot is in a freezer. Sisss what a fucking.... I don't even know. I would get help and shit like that, but it's been my whole life that's I've been feeling like this. Not to mention I'm going to wake up again tomorrow to go to work with fat bags under my eyes. That shit is not cute. So my problems are a big bitch. Yeyeah, the "outcast" as cliche as it may seem is what I am. I have friends and shit but they got their favorites in the group. Am I anyone's "go to"? Noooo sis. The more I type it's actually helping. Wooow this actually is therapeutical, but this fat headac- it's kind of ichy. Is I supposed to be ichy? Please don't tell me- nevermind it's not ichy anymore. By the way this terrible vent is coming from an 18 year old girl in her last year of high school. Uh until the next time I feel sad I guess.
